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Married, kids, bisexual, depressed

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jggates, Aug 1, 2018.

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  1. Jggates

    Jggates
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've said I don't want to hide or lie, as that risks me hiding from myself again. But I'm also happy not to go shouting from the rooftops. Which is true - being able to be open with her has been a huge shift, so I don't feel the rush to go "fully out" right now.

    What we agreed is that if anyone asks, I'll just tell the truth. Say it as if it's no big thing (and it shouldn't be). But for the time being, I need to give her the processing time that I've already had.
     
    #321 Jggates, Jun 5, 2019
  2. arken1

    arken1
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    Some people
    I like this idea, and I have considered doing it myself. I really want to help young people in the closet, who got as anxious as I did. Not to mention missing out on dating for all those years. Depression and suicide are very real concerns as well. Although I didn't get that bad, I know sadly, many do. A support center would be a very visible way to help improve social stigmas around LGBT.

    Very good! II also haven't been super loud about coming out, and even much of my family don't know. When there's a relevant reason, they will know. At the same time, not lying frees you from all the anxiety that comes with not presenting your real self in life.
     
    #322 arken1, Jun 6, 2019
  3. Jggates

    Jggates
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Not out at all
    Yes! This hits the nail right on the head.

    Before I came out to my wife, I was agonising over who she might tell, and who they might tell, and who I *should* tell, and who I can't ever tell.

    But now I'm not bothered who knows and who doesn't. It's not a big deal any more. I can just be me again, and if anyone asks then so be it.
     
    #323 Jggates, Jun 6, 2019
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