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Living in a State of Infatuation

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dionysios, May 31, 2019.

  1. Dionysios

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    I haven't posted much here at EC as I am deep into a relationship with a wonderful and cute guy I met earlier this month. We message each other throughout the day and speak each night. On the weekends we get together, where we go out for walks, entertainment and dinner. I have not had so much sex in my life as I have with him. Everything he does seems to arouse me. He acts the same. When we meet it's difficult for us not to tear the clothes off each others bodies.

    We've talked about this mutual attraction a few times. I feel as if I am living on adrenalin while he admitted that his hormones are raging. We both acknowledged that we are in a deep state of infatuation with each other. How could it not be? He is the first guy I slept with. Everything about him I find erotic. I told him that if he picked snot from from his nose that I would find endearing. He hasn't dated anyone in years and I am the first openly gay guy he has ever gone out with (the rest were mostly married closeted men). We both find it a turn on to hold hands, kiss and cuddle in public.

    We are both hoping that in a few months things will settle down and that we will be able to look at each other with clearer eyes and calmer heads. Right now we are looking at each other through rose-colored glasses. We both hope our relationship eventually moves to a deeper level. If not, that's okay too. We are both enjoying this intoxicating experience in the here and now. It's a fantastic feeling, one I never had before in my "straight" life.

    I can only wish that other gay men and women have the opportunity to experience this wonderful and beautiful infatuation phase at some point in their lives. It's incredible!!!
     
  2. Nickw

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    This is SO wonderful that you found someone so soon after starting your life as a gay man. I know a lot of folks struggle with finding this. I've experienced this infatuation phase twice in my life...once with a woman (my wife) and now with my boyfriend.

    It is so compelling.

    Maybe this isn't something you can answer since you are gay and not bisexual. But, do you find the intimacy to not just be the bonding and sexual attraction but another level where you also share a male to male non sexual or romantic bond?
     
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  3. JToivonen

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    Wow, that's incredible! Reading this post really made me hopeful that I can also have the same thing happening to me someday! It also encourages me to pursue my true identity and live according to the real me!

    Thanks for sharing, @Dionysios , it's really inspiring!
     
    #3 JToivonen, May 31, 2019
    Last edited: May 31, 2019
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  4. Biblia05

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    Very happy for you, truly!! Enjoy it!
     
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  5. Butterfly6

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    So happy for you! I'm a self proclaimed infatuation addict lol. I love the feeling of new love. I remember feeling that way with my husband.

    Enjoy the ride with all these new emotions.
     
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  6. Dionysios

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    It's curious that you asked this my friend. You are right, it's not just the physical contact that brings us closer together but the small things most people would not think about. My bf was so touched (and mentioned it twice) that while purchasing some things at Wal-Mart that I went ahead and opened some plastic bags for his items, which I bagged. I didn't think much about it but my beau was so impressed by that small gesture of thoughtfulness. I myself was moved by his unexpected offer to wash my laundry. He said, "No, don't use a laundromat, bring them here and I'll wash, dry and fold them." I told how sweet he was to offer to do that.

    It's these small acts of care and kindness which we do for one another which makes both of us more desirable in the eyes of the other. I never had this in any relationship before. Yet it makes him ever more special and attractive to me.
     
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  7. Biblia05

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    This is what I describe as "speaking the same language" yet not necessarily talking. I had this once. And I'm so glad you have it now, nothing compares to that feeling.
     
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  8. quebec

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    Dionysios.....I'm so happy for you! I have made the choice to stay with my wife...and for me, it is the right choice. However, I can't help but wish it could be otherwise. So for me and all the others out there whose life has lead them in other directions...please occasionally think of us when you are with your boyfriend...perhaps not during the "fun", but after, if you don't mind! :old_smile: Just knowing that this kind of thing can happen makes me happy!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  9. bearheart

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    ♥!
     
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  10. brainwashed

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    And so how did you meet this gentleman?

    Ah and thanks for the post. It's encouraging. ​
     
    #10 brainwashed, Jun 1, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2019
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  11. Dionysios

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    I signed up and joined various LGBT Meet up groups. I met my bf at a potluck dinner. He was standing in line to fill his plate, our eyes met, he put down his plate and we struck up a conversation. We immediately befriended one another on our social media and began messaging and calling one another. Then we began seeing each other. We both feel a bit like we are in a dream. *smile *
     
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  12. OGS

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    I've been waiting for this sort of thing to wear off myself. It's been about twenty-one years at this point. Does anyone know how long it's supposed to take?
     
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  13. bluehorizon

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    Having never been to a gay potluck dinner, but now suddenly wanting to go to one, what did you take?! Was it stressful? Were you keeping one eye on whether people were eating your offering? ;-)
     
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  14. brainwashed

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    Good feedback.

    Speculating a bit. Could it be that each of you is feeding a badly needed desire/need?
     
  15. brainwashed

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    Funny man. (actually encouraging)
     
  16. Choirboy

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    As the veteran of a 20-year straight marriage where I had hoped for a partnership of sorts with my wife, but ended up being either ignored or ordered around most of the time, I am amazed daily with how different my relationship with my partner is. We met a little over 5 years ago and have lived together almost 4, but unlike my marriage, which had cracks before we even walked down the aisle, there have been no power plays, fights, times where I felt bullied or fearful of some kind of reprisal for things I've done or didn't do, or wasn't even aware of. I have yet to walk in the door to a side-eyed glare, and if he comes home grumpy from a bad day at work, I am never made to feel that it's my fault. Between long commutes and a lot of time shuffling around kids and dealing with outside activities, we're often too worn out to behave like giggly horny schoolboys, but we are very much each other's home, best friend and shelter.

    I wonder sometimes if that's a function of same sex vs. opposite sex relationships, or closeted vs. out, just youthful bad judgment vs. adult self-awareness and common sense, or if by wonderful chance we do approach "soulmate" status. I really don't know. All I do know is that in among the creaking knees and nodding off in front of the TV after a too-late supper and too little time together in the average day, we fall asleep holding hands and wrapped in each other's arms, and feeling very much that rush of happiness and a sense that at least with the two of us, everything is right with the world. If it lasts the next 20 years, wonderful, and it slowly turns into simply feeling comfortable and content, it's still a giant improvement over what I had before.
     
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  17. Dionysios

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    I made a batch of spaghetti and sauce. No one ate it (everyone was watching their carbs) so I took it home and ate it myself. No, it was a relaxing event. I am going to another potluck this coming week. I'm not preparing anything as my bf is going to make a casserole.
     
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  18. Nickw

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    This sounds like such a wonderful experience for you to have this opportunity to share your life like this. I am happy for you!
     
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  19. Nickw

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    Wow! "Boyfriend" status! That's so great that you found this!
     
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  20. Dionysios

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    Oh I suspect that is true. We both were at a point in our lives where we wanted something more than another friend or a casual hookup. Neither of us had any passion in our prior relationships. Now we are both enjoying a real romance.*smile*
     
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