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Can platonic love feel like a crush to you?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rabarber, May 24, 2019.

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  1. rabarber

    rabarber
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    I am most probably a gay man. I have however only had feelings for girls in my life, I have had very strong feelings that I think live up to all the things of how people define a crush.

    I was starting to wonder now though, could these all be platonic "crushes"? Are they even possible to have? Do you have platonic love/crushes that will give you butterflies and everything, just as a romantic love would?

    I am mostly talking about the emotional part of a relationship now, not so much the physical part.
     
    #1 rabarber, May 24, 2019
    Last edited: May 24, 2019
  2. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey @rabarber,

    In my experience, no, platonic love does NOT feel the same as a crush. However, if you have never experienced a real crush on another individual, I'm quite certain that you could confuse the two (I've talked to other LGBTQ people who have experienced that same confusion)

    Of course, ONLY you can ever actually determine and KNOW your.sexuality. But, to me, a couple of the most obvious differences between platonic love and a crush are the 'butterflies' feeling that you describe as well as a growing desire to be with the person physically (even if it is just to hold them in your arms). And with a crush, you constantly crave just being physically present with them while simple texts, DMs or phone contact is a scarce substitute for actual presence. Crushes can be all-consuming; occupying your thoughts 24/7. While platonic love is far less personally consuming.

    With platonic love, it's the non-physical interaction (loving the common interests, craving verbal/textual interaction, etc) with them.

    So, in my experience, there is a petty clear difference between platonic love and a crush.

    My 2cents.
     
    #2 Quantumreality, May 24, 2019
  3. Tritri

    Tritri
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    I've read stories here on Empty Closets of gay men who had crushes on their male friends in school, which at the time they mistook as extremely strong platonic love.
    The other way around (where you think it's a crush but it's really just a strong platonic love), I'm not sure. I do know that platonic love can be very strong, and there can be people whose presence instantly makes you much happier, and you get very excited to see them.
     
    #3 Tritri, May 24, 2019
  4. rabarber

    rabarber
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    If what I've felt is platonic, then romantic love has to be so insanely strong...

    thanks for input!
     
    #4 rabarber, May 24, 2019
  5. smurf

    smurf
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    This is what I came here to say. Once you fall in love with a guy, you will come back here and be able to tell a very clear difference.

    Love for a friend can be so strong. You want to hang out with them constantly, love being around them, get excited when they text, etc. to me they are very similar feelings with some really small differences. Also the reason why I sleep with a lot of my friends lol

    But yeah, if that connection to women is the only thing keeping you from admitting that you might definitely be gay then.... yep!
     
    #5 smurf, May 25, 2019
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