Open marriage question

This is interesting because I read Smurf's comment and sort of accepted the argument without really thinking about my experience. Then I read your comment and realized that my experience of the gay community (I have almost exactly no exposure to the poly community) doesn't match the argument at all. Now part of this is that I have some classist tendencies which will affect who I associate with in a sometimes conscious, sometimes subconscious way--which I try somewhat successfully to overcome. I grew up poor and no longer am and, well, there's no zealot like a convert. But still I will say that most of the gay people I encounter are at least solidly middle class and frankly in my experience those who actively advocate for the community tend to be even further up the socioeconomic ladder.

I think there was a time when you could lose everything for being gay and so those willing to die on that hill were those who had little to lose. I think to a large degree for many people now the risk is really more about a marginal loss of respectability. That's still no small thing as I think respectability is really the primary coin of the realm here in the U.S. but it's not the same as it once was. I think people willing to die on that hill are two groups, those with little respectability to lose and those with respectability to spare. For better or worse the second group has predominated in my experience of the gay community.

 

People just have to judge. To me when people "judge" they show me their inner state of being. Much of what I see in the hate category is pathetic.

 

I like this a lot. You have a way with words