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Gay folks, For how long you have been waiting for your loved one to finally come out to you?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Trumor, May 19, 2019.

  1. Trumor

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    warsaw
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi there,
    Imagine two married, closeted guys in their late 30ties living their undefined "relationship" (friendship no intimacy involved) for 18 months now. He drives that Hot and cold flirting, attemps to withrawal, acts of jelousy etc without actually being together. He seems to be closer and closer to admit what he really feels but I'm dying not being able to say how much I love him.
    Have you ever experienced anything like that during your late coming out process?
     
  2. MzMrAlexa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2017
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    65
    Location:
    South Central North Carolina, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I've experienced many things over the years, and seen both Women and Men where in my eye's I could see that they had the makeup of being Gay or Lesbian and with certain people you would swear that they were a couple but yet they were 100% not going there and just friends (and I won't go there talking about people in denial of who they are, etc.. that's for a different discussion).

    My concern over what you have written is that it's obvious that you are Gay and closeted and have developed feelings for your friend, but are you certain that He is Gay or Bi? (just saying this because the way you wrote your post).

    I've met people who just due to the way they presented their self and our friendship that I really started to have feelings for to where I was seriously considering telling them how I felt and coming out to them, but was hesitant and in every case (for me at least) I'm glad that I held back because the real truth was that I was allowing my needs and desires for a relationship to cloud my judgment and had I came out and said what I was thinking it would have ruined the friendship, and potentially being still mostly closeted myself could have been life changing in very negative ways. And for me at least this has not just been speculation, as years after the fact some of these people that I though were perhaps closeted etc. are still happy and hetero etc. So please just use caution no matter what you do unless you are 100% sure and have looked ahead at all of the potential outcomes if you come out and tell him how you really feel. Hugs!