I am 32 years old male. Most probably exclusively gay(allthough Im not pursuing it). Im in a relationship with a girl, that I did tell long ago that I am most likely gay and she said she is fine with it, we have an okay sex life i suppose, I do have problems some problems to perform though. I dont think she completely realises this fact about me though. I often think I want to break up with my girlfriend to be with other girls, because I see all these beautiful girls everywhere and want to either have sex(so I think to myself at least) or sometimes relationsships with them, however there is one problem, im probably exclusively gay? Or am I? One reason thats keeping with my girlfriend is my fear of having to pursue my gay side if we break up, which I dont feel like or want to do. The thing with this idea is that im afraid to break up with my girlfriend to go look for other girls because I think I wouldnt be able to have a very good sexual relationship with those girls. I do however, ONLY check out girls and there is this girl at work im starting to have a crush on, but i would probably not be very turned on by. I have no wish whatsoever to pursue anything but platonik relationsships with males and have no urges to do anything sexual either. However, I suspect/worry that its my culture that has put me in a kind of denial. So why would i be turned on by guys? Well, because I have made "checks" with porn online(quiet alot of them) and its obvious im mostly turned on by the male genital, more than anything, and quiet frankly at best indifferent to the female one(ranging from indifferent to discussed depending on person/situation). However I do _think_ im turned on by the rest of the womens body(mostly but and tits, but also the overall body and face), but not as much as the male genitals. I have no idea what to do with my life, in a perfect world I would be fair to my GF and break up with her and perhaps hook up with this girl at work or any other. But the truth is that I would probably have to start dating guys and then id rather stay in this relationship. Fucked up life, I know.. Sorry if I offended anyone, i dont mean any offense to anyone, this is all just my view on myself. Any advice?
You have to be honest with her too. If you think there are better people out there, then you should pursue that. If you so have gay tendencies, why not see where that leads to? One solution could be having your girlfriend use a strapon. I do agree that the penis is nice to look at.
Yes, I agree with Inlife88. You need to be honest with her and perhaps with yourself. It may seem safer to just stay in your current relationship, but it kind of seems like you are talking yourself in circles (I don't have urges for guy, but I'm turned on by guys; if I break up with my GF, I'll hook up with a new GF). Perhaps try to be as clear as possible about what you want out of a relationship, regardless of whether the person is male or female. We all deserve happiness. You do too.
Hey I know it's really tough but I think you should break up with your girlfriend, even if you don't want to pursue relationships with men. Long term I think your current relationship will become toxic for both of you. Check out some of the threads in the later in life forum if you want to read about some people that have committed to the opposite sex long term.
Thanks alot for the replies guys. Yes, thinking in circles it has been for the last 10 years or so... thanks for the advice I will try that. I will also check out the later in life section!
No matter what you might be or into, it doesnt look like your current situation is working for you and is unfair on her and you so better be honest with yourself and her and either work on it or let her go. Stringing someone on and yourself is not fair, it wont be easy but it will make sense when you move on to figure out what your preferences are and what you want for yourself
