Hey, I want to tell a woman (30s - I'm in my 20s) that I find her really pretty. I don't expect anything out of it, I just believe that her beauty should be acknowledged, if that's not really strange. 1) Is telling her this weird? 2) Is the word 'pretty' childish or should I use another word (beautiful, etc.)? Thanks!
You've heard, of course, the advice "If you don't have something good to say, don't say it." I believe strongly in the inverse: "If you have something good to say, say it." What if your tongue drops out tomorrow and it's too late? OK that's overly dramatic (not to mention unlikely) but I think that no, it's not weird, and "pretty" is a good word. Another reasonably safe word is "nice", as in "Your hair looks nice today." It's understated enough not to be creepy. I totally agree that if you feel she is beautiful, you should give (limited) compliments. What's the world for?
Yes, that's what I was trying to say lol. Thanks for the input! I wanted to make sure that I'm a total creeper or something ahaha
You made me remember something my friend told me today. She was buying some clothes with her mom, she noticed one of the female store employees was like observing her, and she just thought that maybe she was looking bad, or that the girl was detailing her imperfections. Some moments later, the employee told my friend's mom that her daughter looked very nice. When my friend told me she was laughing because she thought the girl was gonna criticize her, but ended up complimenting her, which was nice. I also agree with this
Hey I don't see anything wrong with telling her, I mean who doesnt like a compliment. I'm just curious this woman is she a friend, co worker?
Hah, I wish she was a friend! She's my doctor lol. I wish I could say that if we had met under different circumstances that we could have been friends, but with a 10(?) year age difference I don't know if that would been realistic either
well in that case I would say just try not to make her feel uncomfortable, not that that would be your intention but of course she has a professional relationship to maintain.
That's what I'm saying though, is it too awkward to even bring up at all?? Would it be better to just not say anything?
Maybe, it is definitely a tough one, because on the one hand I still think everyone loves a compliment, however I think given the doctor patient dynamic it is perhaps better off left unsaid. I mean you would still like her to be your doctor right?
Yes I would. Objectively speaking she's also one of the more competent doctors I've had to date, so yes I'd like to keep her as my doctor haha. As a future healthcare worker I have been on the receiving end of some of it, and while there are some nice compliments, there's also a whole lot of skeevy comments from old men. That's why I'm kind of at a loss over whether I should say something or not. Obviously my goal is not to make her uncomfortable, nor is it to make a move on her, but what if she finds it awkward, you know?
I don’t think it’s creepy AT ALL. I think pretty much anyone would be flattered by the compliment. It would only be creepy if you complimented her over and over again all at once
I WANT to tell her and just be like Hey I think you're pretty and then move on to other business, but I'm so scared that it's going to be awkward. It took me almost a year to tell my best friend that I liked her. Clearly I tend to sit there and overthink lol. But I've been seeing her for seven months for god sakes. I just want to tell her! But I'm scared it'll be weird!
Hey, I can totally relate to this. I found the middle zone of what I can say and when it's appropriate. At work, I have major crushes on these two women. One I now work with and the other I see every now and again. What I've come to realize is that there's a time, a place, AND a behavior/tone for it. If you aren't known for being outgoing, the talkative type, the person that gives compliments, or just someone that doesn't smile at all, then it might come off as a weird little gesture toward something straight women always fear: "she's hitting on me". If you can slip it in some where really casual then definitely do so. For example, you can say hi to open it up and give her a starting compliment, "I really like your hair, shirt, shoes, bag, etc", then slip in, you look really nice today. It's the art of conversation and communication that I've barely started to learn and it's really helped me a lot to opening up about just saying things like that as a straight forward compliment. Don't forget that the language you use is VERY important. If you say, you're rocking that gear, VS, you look beautiful, it makes a BIG difference to the recipient of the compliment. Practice a little before you try saying it to someone you see often. I really hope this helps. Let me know how it goes!
