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Am I transgender?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Reese1234, May 6, 2019.

  1. Reese1234

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hello. I was born a female and I’m still living as one today. Ever since I was younger I would constantly look at boys and have this weird feeling of wanting to be one. I would create scenarios in my head as if I was one. I have memories of also feeling discomfort in my body. When I started to grow breasts I freaked out told my mom I didn’t want them. I remember I used to sleep on my stomach and thought that maybe if I did that they wouldn’t grow anymore. I thought I would grow out of this feeling but it is always in the back of my mind. It never goes away. I get envious of boys all of the time wondering what if I was born a boy. I try to experiment with boys clothing and I find myself happier when I dress more masculine. I look at myself in the mirror and imagine a boy looking back. I rarely show my breasts. I’m always wearing sports bras and really annoy the feeling of a flat chest. I’ve only told two friends how I feel and they were supportive but I think they are still confused. I can’t seem to come out and live the life that I’m always imagining. I’m 18 years old right now and I’m so lost. I’m scared to say anything to my family and or more people because I feel like they will judge me. I hate the thought of being different but I want to do something about this because it is eating me alive. The only thing that is holding me back is what if I regret this? I need some answers. Please let me know if these are signs of being transgender.
     
  2. Flynn S

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    84
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Reese!
    These could all be signs of being transgender, but ultimately nobody can determine that except for you. I started really questioning my gender around your age too and my worst fear was that I was going to regret my decisions. So far, I haven't. I began doing things I was almost completely sure I wanted to change, like making my voice deeper, making my chest flatter, and growing facial hair. I talked to a lot of people who had transitioned or who were transitioning and they all had that same fear. Theoretically, if you did transition and later wanted to undo some of those changes, it is possible. Possibly difficult and costly, but can definitely be done. After all, trans women exist and they're just transitioning in the opposite way. Focus on what you want/picture for yourself. Binding, packing, using male pronouns/names are easily reversible, if you haven't experimented with these already. You stated that you feel happier in men's clothes, which could be an indicator of gender euphoria - look out for this in other situations as well. In any case, if you feel more comfortable in men's clothes, wear them. If you feel more comfortable with a flat chest, bind or look into surgery. If you feel more comfortable using he/him pronouns, use them. There is the common saying that if you are questioning your gender, you are probably not cis.

    If you come to the conclusion that you are transgender, you are under no obligation to tell your family right away. Take your time. I do think you should have someone to talk to, however. Is there a friend you could confide in, to let them know you are questioning your gender? Is there a trans support group in your area that you could join/sit in on? A gender therapist would be a good idea too. You can reach out to me if you need anything.