Life is so great. People treat each other equally and parents don't assume that you are straight. Neither do you have to have "the talk" when your coming out and you know what? Your parents don't even care if you're gay or straight. They love you anyways. It's no big deal. You just say "by the way, I'm gay" and your parents be like: "okay honey". And then I remembered that I was just daydreaming. I mean, why is being gay such a big deal to family and friends? It's still the same person, nothing has changed... Or do people see you differently when they find out that you're gay? What I'm trying to say is that it shouldn't matter who you love or identify as, you're still the same person before and after coming out and that's something people should realize. Am I right? I'm really curious about what you have to say about this!
I 100% agree with you. I would never feel differently about someone who came out to me. They would always be the same person to me. To me, being gay is not a big deal, and it really bothers me that it still is to so many people. It changes nothing about someone. I only wish other people felt this way. I sometimes hate this world tbh.
Sigh. I know. I wonder how much sadness, confusion, and all sorts of negative feelings I could've avoided in my life... how much time and energy I've wasted wrestling with who I am... how much further ahead in everything I might have been if attitudes around me were shifted enough so that I could have freely discovered and always been happy about who I am. I'm only just coming out now, after a long lifetime of not understanding who I am. And you know what? Since I've started coming out, I've felt more confident and outgoing than I've ever been. Like, this is the person I was always meant to be. I'm 52 years old and I'm only learning this. While this is the happiest I think I've been, when I think of it in these terms, it breaks my heart. And in the end, who cares who I want to fuck? Who fucking cares?
For most people, being straight is the norm. The "default". It's not an exaggeration to say that it's expected from everyone, especially in more conservative areas. I've also read somewhere that not being straight ends up breaking many gender roles given to an indivudal.
Pretty much this. A lot of people have a hard time dealing with change or when things turn out differently than they expect.
I geuss it just depends on the person and maybe the way they were brought up. My grandparents dont care. They just dont care. I asked my grandma how she felt after i came out and she said she didnt care i i f***** purple elephants as long as im happy. Im loved and supported. I feel bad for those that dont have it like i do. So theyre good with that even though theyre both in their 60s. Maybe its culture? Ever hear about the 'southern stereotype' about old southern people and how theyre not for homosexuality? And have you ever heard of a tribal african being gay? I dunno lol. Im stupid, huh.
So this is the kind of world you want to live in: I used to have the same complaints about being assumed straight. I mentioned it during my "coming out" to my parents. They just agreed and made a few more points about it (don't remember what; it was three years ago). They did assume I was straight, but my "coming out" was not a big thing to them. I told them pretty much the way you tell your parents anything (but I was a little more nervous about it). You're right it should not be a big thing or a big deal, but I don't see much of a problem with being assumed straight.
I have several gay siblings. My parent's were mostly upset because there wouldn't be "grandchildren" in the classic sense. Of course they've outgrown this and have become very accepting. I think people hope their children and friends would be like they are rather than are malicious about it. The lack of acceptance can still feel like shit though regardless of where it's coming from.
Family members may go through changes when you come out. My brother used to be quite homophobic and make gay jokes all the time, even after I came out. But as we've grown up together and he's watched me go through life overcoming different kinds of challenges while staying honest and true to myself, he's come to respect me in a different light and he's very supportive of gay men and gay rights these days. He's not the same person he was back then. He didn't expect me to turn out gay, but I did, and he gradually adjusted to it. So it is a big deal to some family members when you come out, because it has a big impact on their opinions and beliefs. It's not a small matter to them.
