As some of you know, in addition to being a museum interpreter and teacher, I've been a married priest for over three decades. As my Church is very much opposed to homosexuality, coming out necessitates giving up not only my marriage, but also my profession. Knowing that, at the beginning of he year, I formally requested that I be removed from the ranks if the clergy for "personal reasons." I indicated that Easter would mark my final service at the small church I was serving at. Leaving the priesthood is a lengthly process (5-6 months). The matter has to be approved by bishops, both here and by His Holiness overseas. I did not tell my church officials I was gay, which would have resulted in my immediate suspension. I wished to leave my ministry quietly and with with a measure of dignity. So my last service was this past Sunday (Orthodox Easter was one week behind Western Easter). My parishioners knew I was ending my ministry. In my farewell remarks, I mentioned that it also marked the end if my priesthoid. I thanked them, as for my first liturgy many years ago was held in a church with filled with strangers, but my last service was held amid friends. I also confirmed the ending of my marriage. It was a rather touching moment, filled with smiles and tears, joy and sorrow. The members of my flock were very sweet. While I held myself together, I was rather emotional inside. Coming out meant giving up a deep part of my life. I don't regret it, but I feel the loss in my heart. It was hard folding up my vestments. For my last liturgy I used my personal chalice and then tucked it inside its case for the final time. I changed my profile picture (my final photo of me with my collar) which depicts me with the sun rising behind the image of the risen Christ. The colors of the sun have the rainbow pattern. This marks my transition to my new life as a gay man. Next month I have four socials with different LGBT groups I joined. I kick off with my first Pride Parade this Saturday! I am looking forward to this new chapter of my life and pray that it will be as fulfilling and joyful as the previous one! For all here who have supported me these past months, I thank you so much for your warm words of encouragement, guidance and counsel! God bless you all!
I am relatively new to this site, so I haven't been following your journey. But just from this update I can see that it is truly incredible and inspiring. I can only image that it is a tectonic shift, changing so much of your life. Any one of these changes would be very stressful and difficult to work through, but all of these at once show a degree of strength and focus that is amazing. The only other thing I can say (other than I will be tracking back through your past posts to read more) is God bless you and thank you for sharing.
I so appreciate your kind remarks. I hope and pray that all goes well for you my friend on your own journey.
I’m also pretty new here, so I did not know your story. But what an inspiration for any of us struggling with this! It sounds like it was beautifully handled. How wonderful that you had the strength to accept and be wholly you. I’m sure the coming weeks/months will offer challenges as you continue your journey, but reading your story gives me hope for my own.
You've been an inspiration to watch and see the amount of grace with which you've handled this. I can partially relate to your situation with your faith. I come from a conservative evangelical background so, between the way that group has behaved in our current political climate in the US and me coming to terms with being gay, I kind of came to the realization that I can't be a part of that community for the forseeable future (or possibly ever again) and be the kind of person I want to be. It's difficult because they had such a huge hand in making me who I am today. How to be an adult. How to be a good person. How to prioritize life. It all originally came from them. I hadn't gone to church in quite awhile, but it was always this safety blanket knowing they were there for wisdom and support and now that's effectively gone for me. I kind of lost my anchor. So, that's honestly kind of been one my first rebuilding projects in this whole lesbian thing. I had a friend point me to a new church with a sizable lgbt community and a more laid back stance on...well....everything in hopes of killing two birds with one stone (starting to make some lgbt friends and trying to rebuild some community). It's way out in left field from what I know, but it's also been kind of refreshing seeing things from a new perspective. That and just seeing what's different and what's the same. I'm not sure if it's where I'll be in 5 years, but it's been a nice place to sort of start to heal and I'm hoping in time I can start to sort of rebuild some sense of community that I lost. That and it's just enough the same to sense a lot of the things I loved about my old religious community, but just different enough to not flood me with painful memories. It's been nice. I actually admire the peace you seem to have with this. There's been a lot of anger and grief and tears on my part when it's come to my faith journey over the last 6 months (really, probably the last 3 years). At any rate, I wish you all the best luck in your new journey! I hope you find a lucky guy and find peace and happiness with him.
Thank you for your very thoughtful remarks. I feel very grateful to the many sweet people here who helped me with so many words of support and encouragement. When I came here I was in a bit of emotional turmoil and the folks here helped me cope with this life-changing event. I hope and pray all goes well with you as you go on your journey. If you ever need to talk, I and many others will be there! *smile*
I so appreciate your beautiful message and personal story. As has happened to so many of us, our church and faith helped shape us and was a source of comfort and strength. But as we grew older and struggled with our sexual orientation, it became oppressive, unmerciful and an agent if guilt and shame. I am so delighted to hear that you found a welcoming church home even if only temporarily. It's at difficult times like these when we need a spiritual support system. We are so blessed that there are other LGBT friendly houses of worship. I hope to find one myself. *pause* Life is so funny. As I was writing these very words a neighbor stopped by. He goes to the gay friendly Unitarian Universalist Church. He must have realized that I am gay as I fly the rainbow flag outside. He dropped off literature and invited me to the church this Sunday. I said that I would attend. He also informed me that the street that I live on has a number of gay people. What a pleasant coincidence and an unexpected gift from God. *smile* Anyway, thank you for your message. I hope and pray that God guides you along your journey and gives you a happy and lovely life! Take care!
You just nailed my experience with the church. It's incredibly bitter sweet. They created some of my greatest strengths and my darkest demons...all without knowing they were doing it. (4% of the population is lgbt. who knew if you had 30+ kids in a youth group, mathematically speaking, one of those kids is likely "it"?) Yeah, the church I'm going to is kind of one step to the right of Universalist Unitarian, but that was one of the ones that was recommended. It's in a similar vein. It's funny you say that about your neighbors. I discovered a recently my neighbors I share a fence with are a lesbian couple who grew up not far from where I grew up (and we're 7 hours away from that place). They'd been there months before I started this journey but I just didn't realize... I'm hoping to get to know them. I think we actually have a lot in common, but I'll have to kind of work up the nerve to ask them over. It's funny how things work out that way. My neighbor across the street is convinced it's "a God thing". I guess we'll see. I hope so. For what it's worth, the Episcopalian church is supposed to be gay affirming. I think part of the lutherans are and part of the Presbyterians are. And then I think a good chunk of Methodist churches are, but that may or may not be a hot mess for us for awhile because of the recent vote. I'm probably not telling you anything you don't know. Best of luck finding a new church for you as well.
I hope you have many blessings going forward. I know when I left my youth ministry it was pure heartache. I poured all of me into this teens for 3 years after finishing my exhorter course. I found a replacement to take on the classes and it was someone they trusted. So I knew it would continue on. But it was one step closer to getting to be me which is an amazing feeling. I love who I am and I wouldn’t change the road that got me here for anything. Viewing your posts over the last few months has been an inspiration to me, and I hope many others as well. Keep being you @Dionysios and great things will come your way my friend.
We have a UU church around the corner from us that I’ve attended a few times. It has a wonderful collection of people and is so welcoming to all. Member name tags even have pronouns on them! I’m interested to hear about your experience when you go!
Your achievements and strength over the last few months have been amazing! It's an inspiration to see, honestly! All the best with your new life
It should be an interesting experience. I am more of a high church fellow, so this will be something new for me. I'll update people about my impressions when I go there!
I would be so interested to see your take on them. While I know each church is independent so you can't make direct comparisons from one church to another, UUC is one of the churches that I would be open to visiting. I've been thinking about it more lately, but not sure if I'm ready haha
I can't imagine the level of courage needed to knowingly give up so much, and handle it with grace and dignity. I really wish you all the best. This is kind of like being re-born, but in adult form, I think. I grew up in a conservative Christian family, and our community's church was pretty much the center of my social and emotional life. Coming out and everyhing that followed forced me to redefine myself, as I think it does/would for you, too. I really hope you'll enjoy this new beginning. All the best, and God bless.
