Basically, I shared a drunken kiss with a friend and it wasn't meant to be a big deal. We had both just had a bit too much to drink and would forget all about it tomorrow. But it didn't quite happen like that and now everything is all just a little bit confusing. He's one of my best friends. But when it's just me and him things are very different. Now I find myself kissing him because I want to and I get excited just knowing that he won't try and stop me. Does that mean I might be bisexual though? I never feel the same way around other guys and I definitely still find girls attractive. But at this moment I only really want to be with him and I think I could get used to that feeling.
If you get excited by kissing a guy, then yes you probably are bisexual. Have you ever found any other guys attractive?
No, I’ve never even thought about other guys in that way so this is kind of unfamiliar territory for me.
Personally I would just go with your feelings, you don't have to label yourself yet. If you want to kiss him, kiss him, if you want to be with him then that's fine too. If you feel like you don't want to do any of those things, you don't have to. Just go at your own pace and do what feels right to you.
I think maybe just focusing on how you feel first, and letting it flow in a way that feels comfortable for you, and see where it goes. Like Nordland above said, you don't have to label yourself or anything until you are ready for that.
Take things slowly, enjoy the ride. You don’t have to commit to anything right off the bat or ever for that matter. You may find as many of have as you relax and let it happen you become more and more comfortable with being with another guy. For many of us it was the first awakening of our dorimant same sex attraction and for others it was simply a temporary stop on their sexual path. The good thing is you determine whether it move forward or not. Relax, enjoy what your experiencing and just go with it.
Yeah. I guess that makes sense. I mean it doesn't really matter to me whether I am gay, straight or bisexual anyway so maybe I just need to concentrate on whatever is happening between me and him and forget about all that other stuff.
Yeah, I guess putting a label on it isn't important as long as I am comfortable with what's going on.
I will do. He's new to all this as well so perhaps it's just something that we need to figure out together.
Take your time. For the record, there are lots of guys who assumed they were straight, never had any fantasies about guys, and then, one day... some guy shows up and everything just changes. And there are other guys who don't feel general connection to guys, but fall into a deep connection with a particular guy. What matters is what you both are feeling. Communication will be really important, talking openly. Most people have at least some underlying, unconscious fear about same-sex attraction, so just be aware that for him, or perhaps for you, that may show up at some point and create anxiety or fear for one or both of you. But if you can openly talk about it, then you should both be able to work through it. I'd also suggest taking your time and starting slow with any sexual activity. See how each of you are feeling, check in with each other, and see where it takes you, and be sure to look for subtle signs that the other might be uncomfortable with something. When taken from a place of mutual respect and courtesy, this can be an enjoyable exploration, and you don't need any labels or whatever to define things. That can come if and when you both feel ready for it.
Yeah, I kind of figured I'm probably not the first person to find themselves in this situation. But it's a lot more reassuring hearing it from someone else and at the moment me and him are on the same page with things. We're both open to the idea of maybe taking things a bit further than just making out. But because neither of us have done anything with a guy before we're going to take everything one day at a time. There's no rush.
That sounds like a great plan. To the extent you're comfortable doing so going forward, keep us in the loop!
Yeah. I guess as long as we're both straight with each other (or not so much in this case lol) then I think we should be alright. Obviously if either of us start to feel uncomfortable at any point and think we need to stop then we'll just have to be up front about it, accept that there was always going to be that possibility and just try to move on as friends.
