Hello everyone, So I've been friends with this person for about seven months now (we are both women who love women). Up to like February of this year, I hadn't seen much of her — maybe two or three times a month at most. Then we started hanging out more often, and it also seems we've been texting more often too. I'd only ever seen her as a friend, up until about ten days ago. I don't think her behaviour is what changed, I think I just had that switch in myself about how I perceive her, which I'm still not quite comprehending. She's been the best possible friend ever, having my back in any situation, and she really is here for everything. What confuses me is that (I think) she acts as more than a friend sometimes, but then she's always texting how glad she is that we're "friends", for our "friendship", "pals", etc. So I don't really know where I stand (or where she stands, for that matter). I'm gonna use some examples of our interactions to give you a better idea (and then maybe you can help me figure out what this is, if she is indeed acting more than friendly or if I'm getting the wrong idea). So one day, about two weeks ago (just before I realised I had a crush on her), I was having a bad day and she knew about it, and she kept squeezing me and asking me if I was okay. A few days before that, we were standing outside in the cold and she started resting her head on mine, said it was warm so she stayed like that for a bit (I put one of her hands in one of my coat sleeves to warm her up and she didn't pull back). We hung out last weekend (I travelled over an hour to see her on Saturday and did the same thing on Sunday). She's in a student room with her own bathroom, and at one point, she needed to change into her work clothes but stayed in her room and jokingly went "do you wanna see me naked?" and then proceeded to say "we've reached that stage in our friendship" and changed tops. On the tube, she randomly opened an astrology app and asked me what my sign was and then read things about it. Again on the tube (but different day), we were talking, then stopped talking, and out of the blue she started telling me about something that happened at work the day before (about her liking a woman's shirt and the woman telling her where it was from while grabbing her arm), and looked straight into my eyes while grabbing my arm real tight. When we said goodbye (she's off on holidays) we hugged and I noticed her grip was really tight, then talked for 20-30 more seconds, and then again with the tight hug. One last thing that happened that weekend; we were watching sad theatre videos and at one point we just started holding hands quite naturally (she was on her desk chair, I was kneeling on the floor so when we held hands I had my arms resting on her thighs). Then, some text interactions: I was telling her how I was trying the best person I could be and she said "you're already the best you"; and another striking one, when I said I wasn't gonna see much theatre so I couldn't update her on that when she wasn't here, she said "I get to hear from you, about you, which is perfect". So I guess that's it for context. I don't know why she keeps mentioning us being friends, and that's what confuses me most, so I'd appreciate any sort of help/advice. Also, I do want to tell her how I feel eventually, and it probably wouldn't ruin the friendship given how close we are, but I still am scared and don't know what would be the right way to tell her. Not seeing her until next week at the earliest because she's on holidays (we have been texting every day since she left). Thank you.
Wow, I think you should tell her how you feel the next time you see her. i don’t have much experience but best friends usually understand when another friend likes them (unless they are homophobic, which is not the case). i think that she talks about your friendship all the time because she wants you to say something, idk, maybe to change it. maybe the next day you see her you should start complimenting her and see how she reacts. if you see that she is uncomfortable STOP, if not continue but slowly, you don’t wanna make her feel strange. you could say something like “i have just realized that your ayes are so beautiful” or “i really love being with you today” and if she holds your hand or rests her head on your you could say “i could stay like this all day”. the signals that she show you can be confusing but if you don’t try you will never know!
Thank you so much! Yeah, the fact that she always says we're friends confuses me, but maybe you're right — although I don't want to jump to conclusions. This is good advice though; I am shy as heck, but I'll try and do my best next time I see her. Thank you!!! Good thing (I suppose?) is we've gone on texting/messaging since she left on holidays (not as much these past few days as she had a lot of uni work to do, but still a bit). I'd welcome more advice/thoughts from other people, if anyone is still reading this. : )
I agree that you should tell her how you feel next time you see her. I had a friend in high school who did kind of the same thing, but she said things like you aren't alone, I'm pretty sure someone likes you, and obviously it was her. I think she might be nervous to say that she wants to be more than friends and throwing a line out to you. Let us know how the talk goes. You 2 sound cute together.
