This specific post is about 2 of my closest friends who I've known for around 4 years now. We're into the same kind of music and enjoy going out to parties/festivals/gigs together and continue to talk about all the future ones we'll go to in the coming years. The events we go to are full of all different kinds of people and obviously they're all there to dance and have fun. I LOVE dancing at these things, and so do my friends... except they don't do very much of that. They dress themselves up and stand at a corner of the parties laughing and pointing at people. Judging their clothing and their way of dancing. They've ALWAYS done this. I've gotten to the point where I just go off and dance by myself but I still see and feel them at the edge of the room doing what they always do. I'd really like to talk to them about it but last time I tried they got all defensive saying that the people there are the ones judging and laughing at other people, but when I look around I see everybody's having a good time and minding their own business except for them. However when they look back at the events we've been to, be it amongst ourselves or when telling other friends about it, they claim to have "dance so hard their feet hurt and that they an absolute blast." Anyone have any advice on how to approach them about this without triggering them and having them lash out at me like last time?
Other people might have a different take on this, but I can’t see them changing. They do it because they enjoy it, whether that be right or wrong, and I don’t think you’ll be able to convince them otherwise. So, I think you either put up with it and carry on, or try to find new friend and perhaps bring them along/see less of them, or confront them about it and prepared for either the friendship to end or nothing to change. People don’t like being told that they’re being judgemental/mean or being told what they should be doing, i.e. dancing.
I guess you're right @LostInDaydreams but it would really suck if our friendship came to an end because they're the ones who introduced me to all those things in the first place. Still, I guess I'll never know unless I truly try to make them see what I see because at first I'd be too shy to dance, thinking that people would judge me like they say they do. Then I noticed that they're the only ones doing it and the reason why they barely dance or not at all is because they judge themselves the way they do everyone else in the room when they do it so they stop.
