Advice...?

Welcome to Empty Closets.

Sorry that you’ve ended up in a brand new place and it is making it hard for you. Can you travel (do you have a car or can borrow one from your parents)? If so, there seem to be opportunities nearby, such as a LGBTQ center listed in Harrisburg, just to the west of you. I found Meetup to be a good online app/site to search for ways of connecting with others when I first moved to a new area. I did a quick search just now for “Hershey LGBT” and Meetup shows a lesbian group in Mechanicsburg, though you may be too young for it (you could reach out to the organizer anyway for suggestions), and a movie group in Lancaster which says it is LGBTQ friendly.

 

Not sure this is great advice, and I’m letting my crazy show a bit with it, but I desperately want to run away lol. I’ve been taking care of sick family for over 3 years and I’m hoping by the end of the year (if not before) I can move somewhere I know absolutely no one and start over. The idea is terrifying, but I’m a planner and already know how I’d want to meet people. I know you want to make a romantic connection, believe me so do I lol, but I also value friendships a ton. So I’ve looked at classes on things like cooking, baking and cake decorating. There’s people there, gets you out of the house and not in a party environment. You know you’re gonna be around people with a similar interest so it raises the chances of making a connection even if only on that. So maybe see if there is any classes like that you maybe interested in...

 

So weird, I just wrote a VERY similar post to this with the same title too... promise I wasn’t copying you, only just saw yours!

This is literally like reading something I wrote except that I’m 7 years older... I also have social anxiety and don’t drink, and I also went through the “am I bisexual?” thing around your age... wish I could offer some insight... but I can at least relate.

 

Two independent threads, same time, same topic, nearly identical titles !! Thats amazing! It kind of shows, we're not alone. Good on ya, both of you, for reaching out!

I think you all have some really good insights, and I think developing some friendships is a really good idea. I relate to what you said because I lack friends in my life, even though I'm married with five kids. My suggestion is to find some meetup groups. Find groups that have anything to do with something you are interested in. Go to a meet-up and set for yourself an achievable goal of talking to, say, two people. Just keep on doing it.

Remember, the greatest trip starts with a single step. Good luck! Hugs!
=Sevn

 

I would start by finding groups that DO match your interests. Would you be into a book club? knitting group? D&D? Ches club? LGBT meetup? church? Contra dancing? Figure out what kind of groups, meetups, and social activities are in your area and join something. You can also find groups online. Just start there and work on friendships. On dating sites, there will be a LOT of people who just want to hook-up, but if you keep trying, you'll find someone who's more compatible. OK Cupid has a nice matching tool, so the more questions you answer, the better matches you'll get.

 

I suffer from anxiety disorder though it is not severe ( thank gods). I made a lot of friends through classes. Gym or fitness club is also a good place. Don’t worry, you are still young. I want to say this, though it is cliche, the amount of people you meet or date doesn’t matter. The type of people you befriend or date matters. Good things are just around the corner, just be patient.
All the best for all your future endeavors.

Have a nice day.

 

Thanks! It’s a great suggestion and I think if I lived anywhere else I probably would but I live on a small island where pretty much everyone knows everyone. Not fun. I love travelling because I can finally feel invisible, and there’s freedom in that.

What I wondered was, is there anywhere you can find online friends to just chat with? I mean obviously this forum seems great but on a more personal basis? Like Sam said all online dating sites seem to be full of people looking for sex or something exciting, but sometimes it’s nice just to have someone to chat with and talk about your day. Especially someone who can understand you. Not really sure where to find this though. Any tips?

 

Okay, that makes sense. I understand the benefit of connecting online because of the HUGE support I've received from this community in Empty Closets. There is something amazing about being able to open my heart make a post, and have other people reply, "Yeah me too!". At some point I think your interaction needs to go into the face-to-face world, but for now, do it online! But be careful. I'd suggest browsing more around here in Empty Closets. You can connect with individuals by posting to their profile page. There are a lot of different forums with a lot of different interests. I'd suggest taking some time and browsing a lot of them.

Good luck! And best wishes -
=Sevn