For the longest time I’ve wanted to get pixie cut, but my mom always told me that I would look ugly and didn’t have the face for it. I knew it would make her upset if I cut it, but yesterday I stopped caring and finally hacked off a lot of it with scissors and went to the local beauty shop to get them to touch up the rest. I like it a lot. It feels great and I think it fits me. My mom doesn’t feel the same. She said I looked ugly like a boy and she didn’t raise me this way. She’s crying and threatened to kill herself. I’ve been called Satan and a dyke today all over some hair. All it is hair and it can grow back. She said some really awful things to me today, but I’m the one who’s supposed to feel bad because I’m hurting her doing this. I hope and mostly think everything is going to be okay soon. It’s just been a rough day. I could really use some support.
Hi Shine Sounds like you had a bad day. At the end of the day it's your hair and you can dowhatever you like with it. I honestly think you did the right thing and you have stood up to your mum. You have to do what's best for you and it seems your mum is trying to use control. But as young people grow up, as parents we lose this control and have to let our children do it their way. It sounds like your mum is struggling with this. There could be a bigger picture here eg, if your not straight, mum might be struggling to come to terms with your sexuality, thinking the short hair makes you look gay. Hope you have a better day today.
Ah yeah definitely more of the bigger picture type of thing. She tried to make me come out to my dad today too. Told me she’s been struggling with me being gay for the last few years alone and wasn’t going to anymore. Luckily he was busy so I didn’t come out to him. She made me promise her that I wouldn’t cut my hair until I turned 18. So she’s mad over that saying I don’t care about her and that I secretly hate her. I know she’s ashamed of me. She made that very clear today.
Sending you a hug. I'm a gay guy, so I can send you a hug..... Your mum should be really proud of you. Who we eventually choose as a partner shouldn't matter at all. You are doing the right thing being honest about your sexuality while your young. I married a woman and had three kids, then came out, which was wrong. My children are under 14 but if any of them were gay it wouldn't make the slightest difference. They are my kids! It's a shame your mum is struggling with this because it then impacts on you. Please continue to embrace who you are, if you need to talk, you have come to a good place. Counselling is also good, I've nearly finished mine and I fully embrace being gay in my early 40s.
I am so sorry you had to experience that. I think you mother is going through five stages of grief. She was still in denial. Your haircut triggered the next stage. She is confused coz she doesn’t not understand the current you and she is lashing out. She feels out of depth. It doesn’t justify her actions but trust me, it will get better. What about your father? Will coming out to him affect you? Sometimes our perception of someone might be wrong and if he accepts and supports you, my mother might be forced to give you space. Do you think your father might be your ally? Try to not take her words to your heart. You are beautiful and you have a wonderful soul. Nothing can undermine your worth. This too shall pass. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Stay strong. V.
Sorry to hear that you are going through this. If you want to cut your hair it's your hair not hers if she pushes it tell her how would she feel if you tokd her she isn't to cut her hair again or have it trimmed (does she have l8ng or short hair herself) Ask her how it would make her feel if you stopped using the name mum and started calling her something nasty each time you spoke to her. How is your dad with your hair has he said anything about it or mentioned that it's wrong to cut it? don't come out to him if you aren't ready and don't let her push you if she tells your dad your gay turn it and say she's known for years I'm suprised she hasn't told you earlier don't let her make you feel down tell her how it's making you feel
I'm so sorry your mom is so disrespectful of your decision to cut your hair. That's got to be super hurtful, and not at all what you need or deserve. She is making this about her, not about you... please remember that. If she allows herself to get upset about your haircut, that's an indication that her boundaries are sloppy. You're almost an adult, so she really has no business making a big deal about it. She offered her comments, you chose not to take them, and that's absolutely your right. There's no harm or foul in what you did; it's your way of expressing yourself, as teens have done for decades. When she calms down, you might have a sit-down with her and let her know that the way she responded felt very judgmental and unsupportive, and you didn't appreciate it, and that you hope she'll be able to be more supportive in the future. It might not get you far if she does have boundaries as sloppy as it appears, but it might be the beginning of setting healthy boundaries with her.
Hi, everyone. My mom is finished having her meltdown I think. Sunday she went to church and thought about what the homophobic preacher said about, “forgiving the gays and not turning them away.” Lmao. She’s since then apologized and asked me to forgive her and that she’s just having a rough time dealing with everything. I listened to her and said I understood. I don’t think I forgive her though. I’m mostly bitter and jaded about the situation. Besides my mother’s distatse for my haircut, cutting my hair was a great decision. I’ve gotten many compliments and feel beautiful. I don’t think I’m going to miss having long hair at all. I haven’t showed my dad my yet, but he knows I got it cut. I don’t think he’ll really care once he sees it or that’ll it spark any questions about my sexuality. He’s more understanding that I’m almost an adult and able to make my own decisions. I think I’ll come out to my dad this summer before I leave for college that way if it doesn’t go the way I plan I’m able to get some distance soon and focus on other things.
