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can it get any lonelier?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by CL1990, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. CL1990

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    hi (sorry this is more a rant than anything!) i have always felt quite lonely and i know that a lot of it has to do with me purposely avoiding people because i dont want anyone to get too close or to be dependant on anyone in any way as, when that happens, i tend to feel trapped.

    the problem is that now due to personal circunstances i have left the house i lived and i i have been jumping from 1 house to another as temporary accomodation. Basically, even though i have been living in this country for 5 years i feel like im back to square one: no house and very few friends as here people are temporarely so there is a "high turnaround"

    yesterday the loneliness kicked in massively (as it normally does on saturdays) after moving out of my temp accomodation at my friends to move with a random family for a week. The issue is i feel trapped between wanting to live with friendly people but not wanting them to be my friends to avoid having anyone depend on me or me on them. is this so abnormal?
     
  2. gibson234

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    Why are you worried about being dependant on people or vice versa?
     
  3. CL1990

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    it just makes me feel trapped like i cant breath and lose a sense of fredom!
     
  4. Mirko

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    Hi there! Is there a possibility that you could find more permanent housing in an area where you feel you could settle down and let some roots grow, as it were?

    Everyone has their comfort zones, it is possible that for you the comfort zone is what you have described; maybe in your case, you want to be friends with people who are not necessarily living with you or in the same building. It sounds like you are valuing your independence quite a bit; living with friendly people doesn't necessarily mean that they will become your friend or would want to build a friendship. I think you can have both, live with friendly people, with who you get along but also have your own boundaries in place.

    As you have only recently arrived, or started to live in the United States, it might be worthwhile to try seeking out a community group that helps newly arrived to find housing, access services and start building connections (be they social or professional) with others.
     
  5. CL1990

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    thanks mirko for getting back to me it all makes sense..i guess that when i find a permanent room i will feel more settled and can start rebuiding myground :slight_smile: