Hello everyone, so first of all I want to apologize because I think this is going to be quite long. Honestly, I feel really anxious writing this. I´m also sorry for my English Recently I started worrying a lot about coming out. The thing is it took me rather long to realise I´m trans. Until after I finished school I didn´t know anything different gender identities and so on. I also had a long denial phase. But when I finally cut my hair and bought my first binder it just felt somehow right. I started to accept it and recently dysphoria is getting worse when I´m occaasionally forced to wear womens clothes. Thats why I think I Need to finally come out. So in my area there is like only one transgender psychologist and I know the smart move would be to make an appointment. But even thinking about it makes me anxious. And because of that I decided to come out to my sister first. I could need some support with figuring things out. She already knows I´m bisexual but that was never a big deal for me anyway. When I told her I´m bi she was like, yeah that’s fine I would have been more shocked if you told me that you wanted to have a gender reassignment. And that’s exactly why I´m afraid to tell her. But sometimes I think she already guesses something. Should I just go for it anyway? The next thing I worry about, is coming out to my parents. I still live with them because my university is nearby. Also we have a little farm and my horses are here. I really want to come out to them before some major changes happen but I´m so so afraid. I already had some fights with my dad because he´s quite homophobic. He claims it´s unnatural. I doubt telling him I´m trans would be easy. My mom is different though. I talked to her about themes like gender identities and homosexuality in general. Just to get a feeling for how she thinks about it. And although she is willing to learn about it she still think it´s something you choose. During puberty I had this phase where I tried very hard to be feminine because I desperately wanted to fit in. When I dropped this act she was somewhat confused and I worry that she will hold this girly phase against me. I know I have to come out to them but in my head theres only room for the worst case Scenario. I have no idea how to tell them best. I was thinking about writing a letter but I would panic having to wait for their reaction. Maybe someone has an advice for me? Some supportive words would also help my troubled mind a lot It´s strange how much I worry about coming out to my family when talking about it with people I´m not that close is absolutely fine with me. Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope what I wrote makes some sense.
A letter would be a good idea but if you go with that route i recommend taking your time to make sure you get the right words and phrase it to how you like it make it understandable like a essay not in length but how you check it to make sure there are no errors and it clearly states what you want to say and maybe slip the letter into the mail I don't know how you should do it maybe call a family meeting and hand the letter to your mother to read aloud I'm not good at giving advice so if someone gives you a better idea you should go with it.
If you weite a letter and leave it an the table where they can see it or tape it to the door then you can go to university. Since your worried about the waiting for them to talj to you about it you can call them before you go home.
