I am on my way to visit a dear friend whom is in intensive care. He is in his early 30’s, way too young to be going through this current battle. This battle came rather fast and out of the blue only months ago; and he needs all the strength he can gather to beat the battle. I consider him one of my best friends having met him a half dozen years ago shortly after I embraced my sexuality. We have traveled together, we have met our respective families, we have helped guide each other through good and bad - but above all we have been there with mutual emotionally support. Our shoulders have always been and always are available when either of us are in need. Never romantic nor physical, just two close friends whom each shared their deepest secrets with. As I am making my way up to offer whatever support I can, I am reflecting on how our friendship evolved. We were initially not natural matches as friends at first but circumstances lead us to become close as we found more commonality than first expected. He was a deep thinker, considerate to those around him, a world traveler always on the run and constantly working to make himself a better person. He never had a bad thing to say about anyone while always being extremely self critical. He is the type of person that anyone would want as a friend. We were together just a few weeks ago as he came to visit seeking a brief reprieve from his reality. That weekend we talked a lot, although I mostly listened. I listened to him recount all that he has done in life and all that he still seeks. There are so many dreams he has yet to fulfill. I pray he still has the opportunity to accomplish them. He deserves that chance. May his unfulfilled dreams given him the conviction to fight the fight and win!
He sounds like a great guy! Hoping he makes a full recovery. Look after yourself as well, this has got to be tough on you too.
I do hope and pray that your friend overcomes this serious health crisis he is undergoing now. He is fortunate to have such a good and loyal friend as yourself, in both good times and in bad bad. Some people cannot handle others having illness. They freak out and often neglect visiting them during their health struggle. What you are doing by visiting your dear friend in the hospital and just listening to him, about his hopes and dreams, is more meaningful than you realize. Its demonstrates that you care and are there for him. You can't heal his physical infirmities and illness, but just your presence can give him a soothing calm and reassurance that in this health battle, he is not alone. Stay strong for him and for yourself.
Thank your for the kind sentiments. After a critical period, he stabilized and began to rest. Fortunately, he was approved for an organ transplant and a suitable donor organ was found overnight. The procedure will begin shortly and last throughout the day. After 48 hours with him and his family, I returned home after the doctors approved him for the transplant (not knowing how long it would be until a suitable donor organ was found). Great news that the procedure is happening and happening so fast. I found the few days with him and his family to be interesting, where the dynamics between them came into focus. My good friend grew up in a very religous household. After he first came out, his family struggled with his sexuality. While over time their love for him allowed them to accept his sexuality, they never became fully comfortable with it. A quite tension remained and was always apparent. He and I had a lot of conversations about his own conflicting views of his family and religion over the years; and to this day it was something he was still working through. There were clear conflicting emotions between my friend, his mother, his father and his other siblings. His mother loves him, that was very clear. Yet despite his own wishes she had a pastor come to the hospital room which he quickly dismissed. Even then, there were times he wanted to be alone from his parents and I found myself in the awkward position of playing pacifier along with his other siblings. Sitting alone with his other siblings, whom have come to fully embrace their brother, they too have struggled with their parents strong religious views. The prevailing view from them regarding their parents was that their parents were selfish. This concept I was very much able to relate to. However, as I spent the time with his parents, rather than being selfish I simply found them to be a product of their own upbringing and lack the ability to rise above what they were taught - even while recognizing how much they love all of their kids. With hope that the procedure goes well, there very well might be a silver lining to this. With crisis comes reflection and with reflection often comes an openness to see beyond our own limitations. With the discussions I had and observed, I am optimistic that this event might very well be the catalyst he and his family need to finally find resolution. That is my hope at least. As my friend was being sedated prior to one of the minor procedures he needed, he reached out for his mother’s hand. It was a very sweet embrace. I hope the best for all of them. For now, its most important the transplant goes well and we can all have relief from a successful procedure.
