Meeting the Divorce Attorney

Coming out later in life for someone who is married often entails divorce. My wife and I agreed three months ago that this was the best option for us. So this afternoon my wife and I finally sat down with the divorce attorney to begin the process. It was a bit of an education learning how divorces are handled. We gave him a detailed list of division of our assets which he will use to prepare for the legal separation agreement. However before that document can be signed, either my wife or I must physically move out of the home. We told him that will probably happen once the house is under contract (it goes on the market later this week). Once that one of us moves out (probably me), then the countdown leading to the divorce begins. We will have to wait exactly one year after the separation agreement is signed for one of us to apply for the actual divorce. The cost of the separation agreement and divorce is quite reasonable (hundreds of dollars instead of thousands).

The whole proceeding was a rather strange, surreal experience. My wife and I smiled and appeared calm and relaxed. The attorney mentioned it was sometime since he had seen such an amicable couple. My wife and I both felt great relief when we left the attorney's office, as if a heavy weight had been removed. We now know what the actual blueprint looks like for us to end our marriage and get on with our lives. While we each look toward separate futures, we console ourselves that we had a wonderful marriage which will give us good memories to look back on. *smile*

 

My wife and I celebrated 32 years this past January. At least we never fought and have one child who is grown and married. Now we hope that my son and his wife will give his mother and I some grandchildren in the near future. Ah, that would be wonderful for my wife especially. It would give her joy in place of some of the pain she has now. She does well in handling the fact that we are to break up, but when I came out, I dashed her dreams of a happy old age together. A grandchild would warm her heart, so I told my son and his wife to get to work! *smile*

 

Once the house is under contract I will move closer to the town where I have two part-time jobs.I've been checking into apartments and prices. The area where I lived suffered some hurricane damage, so affordable apartments are hard to find. I could move out now, but would prefer not to have obligations to pay for two homes.

 

I appreciate it so much! My wife and I went to dinner tonight and had an enjoyable dinner and some wine. It was not to celebrate, rather we felt that a weight was removed. We know what we need to do in order to go forward. We discussed how we will work on creating a new normal for ourselves after the separation. She even joked tonight that I should look for a bf who is handy with car or home repair. If she needs some help, he could help her out as I am dumber than a box of rocks when it comes to those types of repair.*laugh*

 

So appreciate everyone's kind thoughts and best wishes! My wife and I felt so relieved after speaking with the attorney. A really nice gentleman. He said that our divorce will be quite simple, especially as we have already divided everything. He couldn't get over that we were smiling, joking and easy going about everything. I actually told him that my wife is a wonderful woman, we had a great marriage, but the divorce is due to the fact that I came out as gay. My wife chuckled and said that she never suspected. The attorney smiled and said that love can make people blind. My wife and I were so relieved and upbeat by our experience with the attorney, we went out and had a wonderful dinner and a glass of merlot.

 

Thanks my friend. The session with the attorney went better than I had hoped. The legal wheels are already in motion and my wife and I feel good about getting this process begun. In a couple of days the realtor stops by to put the house on the market. Over dinner tonight my wife discussed types of apartments she is interested in and various locations near our son while I talked about my future plans. It was a pleasant evening. We are starting to create a new relationship between ourselves. We are not there yet, but it is evolving, and in a positive direction. *smile*

 

Thanks so much! I appreciate it. We were fortunate that we always got along. Having three months to prepare ourselves for the meeting was helpful too. We are both in good spirits as we plan for our separate lives.

 

I was surprised too. My attorney explained that up until recently, the divorce process in NC was much more adversarial in which one party had to prove the other committed adultery or some other serious act. There was even a jury trial! Thank goodness it is not that today. Each state has their own laws so divorce protocol varies wildly.

 

I appreciate your kind words. I am fortunate that my wife does not blame me for this, realizing that being gay was beyond my control. We are trying to make the best of this because we still care for one another and wish the other happiness and good fortune in the future. We both have a sense of humor, and making jokes helps sooth the tension as we navigate this separation and divorce process. *smile*

 

So kind! Thanks so much. I feel very blessed that my wife has been so sweet and understanding. I wish everyone had the same experience. *smile*