Gay Sons and Their Mothers

@Dionysios Thank you for bringing this subject to discussion. I was also wondering what really affects the sexual orientation of individuals in general, and what "made me" gay. Is it my developmental relationship with my parents, or as you mention, might be closeness to the mother more than the father, especially at an early age? What about lesbians? would they be closer to their fathers instead? does it really work like this?

I'm sure that there are serious scientific research done in this area; I quickly googled it and came up with some interesting articles that I would love to read and explore. This subject might actual be one of the top on my reading list in the coming months?! Thank you again.

Personally, I was told that I was pampered by my mother when I was young. I thought that I was closer to my dad, I actually preferred to be with him than my mom, probably because he wasn't around a lot, busy most of the time, so whenever I had the choice to go somewhere with him or my mom I was always choosing to be with him? I do remember that I used to play with my mom's makeup at a young age (less than 10 may be), and loved how she trimmed her finger nails and I wanted mine to be like hers, but this tendency went away when I grew up. Now, and even at puberty and teenage years, I never wanted to look or feel like a female and proud to be a man. Nevertheless a gay one! I never felt close enough to neither my mom nor my dad growing up to discuss intimate details about my life with them. May be it is a cultural thing to, but I encourage my kids to be open with me, they are not, but I always let them know that I'm there for them if they need to talk about any issue. Waiting for it someday to happen!

I never came out to my family and I don't think it'll be possible. My dad passed more than a decade ago, and I feel like I ought to give to my mother more time and attention than I used to, since I migrated overseas and spent little time with her in the past 20 some years. I don't feel attached to her in any sort, but I do my best to at least contact her (talk/video chat) on a weekly basis in order to make sure that she is ok and she doesn't need anything. She is 84 after all. I think that this is my duty as a son, appreciate what she's done all the years I was growing up and treat her well.

 

My mother is the worst human being or living creature for that matter, I’ve ever met, and I mean that in a literal sense.

My entire childhood was an endless cycle of emotional and occasionally physical abuse. Lying about me, screaming at me daily, making me sleep naked on the tile floor instead of my bed sometimes, locking me in the garage for a couple days at a time with no food or water more than once, filing false police reports against me to show me the police are easily manipulatable and I couldn’t go to them for help (having police pointing guns in your face about 5 times starting from age 10 when you know you didn’t do anything is pretty traumatizing).

Throwing me out of the house over 20 times, and finally throwing me out permanently at age 15 when I had nowhere else to go, which also forced me to drop out of high school. She was a single mother and I’m an only child so there was nobody around except her in my life, as I basically had no friends either.

According to her own mother they’re pretty sure she murdered her best friend in high school and got away with it too by pushing her into an oncoming train.

She’s never been punished for any of it. She’s actually a highly respected professor and medical provider at a hospital who works with the U.S. senate on medical legislation sometimes. Karma clearly does not exist.

Oh, and it never fully stopped either. I haven’t seen her or spoken to her in years yet she sent me an email on my birthday last year filled with insults that concluded with the sentence “If you want to make the world a better place please locate the nearest firearm, put it in your mouth, and pull the trigger.”

 

Jesus, no. my mother is a pretty toxic and abusive and emotionally unstable person and even though I love her (obviously, she's my mother after all), I am so happy I live far from her. we have never been really close, tbh.

 

damn it, I'm so sorry to hear (or read) this *sends a friendly hug* hope you're doing better now.

 

I've never felt close to my mother or father, we could never connect on a personal level. But maybe that's what you'd predict given the whole "bisexual" thing. We don't talk much anymore.

 

Im close to her, yes. I think she's the only (in my family) that fully accepts and understands me being gay. My dad still bugs me for giving him biological grandson ASAP lol. When I was so down last year, I told her about everything happening to me. I told her that I almost hooked up with a shady guy that's more than twice my age. I once got too drunk that I started drunk texting her, I was asking her if I can bring a guy home lol. She was very cool dealing with my drunk text tho, she actually replied that its ok for me to bring a guy home as long as I will introduce him to them properly. My series of drunk texts to her was very sweet too, we (my drunk self and her) talked about my ideal guy and me adopting a child and me marrying a guy. After coming out, I can say I am now a lot closer to her.

 

I have a general better kinship with Women in general. I always argue that they are the superior gender with regards to emotional intelligence. I think a lot of us also felt rejection at the hands of our fathers so it's a natural gravitation.

 

I have a good relationship with my mom and wasn’t shocked or disappointed or excited when I told her, it’s more just information she knows, which is kind of nice because the reaction of it not being a big deal shows that its just a part of nature to us. We have always had a good relationship. Though, some of my gay friends do have mom’s that are terrible, but it is more them being drug addicted or something else then just about them being gay or just a hard to work out relationship. But my boyfriend has a mom that they have a super strong relationship! He has a good family!

 

I've always been close with my mom. I've never formally come out to her, but I think she knows. She lives out of state, and on average we talk about once a week (sometimes more sometimes less). At least once a year, I go down to visit her (she and I are going on a vacation together next week), and at least once a year she comes up here, and when she does we spend plenty of time together.

 

I am a total momma’s boy! However, as much as a stereotype might prove, everyone has a different experience. My mom had a hard time getting over my coming out. She saw it as a burden but I am also the baby and the last chance she’d have at grand babies lol. I assured her she can still have grand babies. I find that honesty requires patience. She wants to be apart of your life, she just needs to learn how. Moms are special and the bond there can really beautiful...with healthy boundaries.