1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Baby step, profile pic

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by heythere1971, Mar 3, 2019.

  1. Questions93

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2016
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    South East Asia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Congrats Man! Be proud of yourself. Keep us updated :slight_smile:
     
  2. heythere1971

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2015
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    St louis
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So not ferfeel the pride. I realise my bro doesn't live or die to answer my email but am on pins and needles, literally sick to my stomach, did I say everything right, can I get that email back...goodness am a wreck.
     
  3. Brandy Bee

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2018
    Messages:
    184
    Likes Received:
    89
    Location:
    Ontario
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think it's often the case, that family needs a little time to digest a loved one coming out.
    Try to give your step brother the benefit of the doubt, to maybe help alleviate your concern that his response might be negative or catastrophic.
    It obviously isn't easy coming out to family, but there's two sides to every coin. It isn't easy in many cases for the family members either, who may have their own internalized homophobia, or may now feel embarrassed for things they said off the cuff in the past but didn't mean deep down.
    It took you several revisions to your text before you hit send, maybe that's also the case on the other end.
    My advice: carry on exactly as you always have, find the strength to just be the same you (because as far as your brother in law is concerned, you're exactly the same guy, right?) Let him see that this is no big deal in the grand scheme of things, help create that comfort zone for both of you, and allow the simple passage of time to synthesize the reality of what being gay looks like, as opposed to anyone's preconceived idea or (hopefully not) rigid prejudice.
     
    Dionysios and bearheart like this.
  4. Questions93

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2016
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    South East Asia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Completely understand. I know from experience how difficult the wait is after messaging someone to come out. I know it's hard but try not to stress yourself out too much, you have done the hard part of clicking send. Now try to keep yourself busy/distract yourself until he gets back to you!
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  5. heythere1971

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2015
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    St louis
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Thanks. I do anticipate a good response, I think the nerves, and they are huge, have ate in 2 days, but I think it's really just still can't believe I sent it .huge relief and huge regret at the same time if that makes sense at all. It's like, well no turning back now. My lifelong secret is a secret no more.
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  6. smurf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,645
    Likes Received:
    638
    Location:
    Florida
    Hang in there. The wait is the fucking worst.

    If you want you can message him saying "Hey, just letting you know that I sent you an email" or something along those lines. Some people are just really crappy with their emails.

    You got this!
     
  7. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    W
    Wishing you the best! It was a brave move on your part and I really hope this works out well for you. Keep your spirits up my friend!