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Therapy interruption

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Lexa, Mar 2, 2019.

  1. Lexa

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    Ok, I have a question concerning therapy and my therapist. So, I've been in therapy for almost a year now, from September until today 2 times a week (because of resistance to therapy otherwise), the only interruptions being due to the vacations of my therapist. Now I want to interrupt the therapy sessions for almost three months for practical reasons (including one week of vacation for the therapist and two months I will be raising puppies which is of course great!). The reason I want to interrupt is because it isn't our first litter and as a result I know that I won't have the time I need to fully invest myself for therapy. I want to start again in June, when the puppies left the house. But my therapist disagrees. He thinks I should continue nonetheless, if possible two times a week, if not possible once a week combined with writing. Although we agreed before that once a week does not work for me. His opinion being "We're getting somewhere now. It would be a pity if we had to stop now" (which is true but I just don't want to wind up with a burn out which I clearly explained to him). So now I've been asking myself if this is a money issue on the therapists part (because he suggested something that we both agree doesn't work). But I also have trust issues so I guess I'm confused and I don't know what to think of it. So what do you guys think of this? I would like to read your opinions.
     
  2. Sebby45

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    Maybe try to meet up at least once a month? With the caveat that you will call in in the mean time if you feel you need another session/ keep up writing. I understand you will have your hands full with the pups, so it is only natural that you would want to avoid a burnout. But I wouldn't drop therapy completely during those months. That could definitely cause a drawback in progression. I know these things are hard, especially with trust. You have only been with your therapist a year, and it can certainly take longer to trust them completely. I know that from experience. But, I highly doubt it is a money issue. Remember, they have other clients as well.

    Also, is there someone else who could watch the pups while you go to a therapy session? If so, maybe you could work something out where you could go at least once a week. Just a thought.
     
  3. Chip

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    It's not a money issue; on the contrary, from what you are describing, I would lay money that it is a resistance issue on your part. Logically speaking, taking one or two hours out of the 168 hours in a week isn't going to materially impact your time with the puppies, and you'll still have plenty of time to process and think, while you're working with the puppies, at night before you go to bed, when you're in the shower, or at some point.

    It's pretty amazing the rationalizations we create in our minds to justify when we are afraid of moving into difficult territory. What it sounds like to me, from what you are describing, is that you are (unconsciously) skilled at avoiding doing the serious work, and now that you're actually getting into whatever the issues are, your unconscious is finding excuses to get you out of therapy.

    I would pretty strongly recommend staying with therapy, and staying with twice a week. I think that, while it may be uncomfortable in the short term, you will thank yourself later if you do.
     
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  4. Lexa

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    I honestly don't think it is resistance on my part since I'm planning to continue therapy afterwards. The last time we had a litter of puppies I almost had a burn out... I have an almost fulltime job and several dogs. This combined with a litter of puppies, doesn't really leave time for anything else. I'm always exhausted when the puppies are 8 weeks old and leaving. As I explained also to my therapist.
     
  5. Chip

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    So... were you basically looking for someone to confirm a decision you've already made? It isn't a judgment, just a question. Often we can think we're looking for input, when really, we're hoping people will support a decision we've made but aren't really sure is the correct one.

    As far as the issue of "it's not resistance because I'm planning to restart"... that's exactly the sort of rationalization people use when they come up against uncomfortable material. "I'm not running away, I'm just putting it off". I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know what you're experiencing. All I can tell you is that what you are describing is pretty much textbook classic, which is why your therapist is discouraging you from taking that route.
     
    #5 Chip, Mar 4, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2019
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  6. Lexa

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    @Chip
    Honestly no, my decision has not been made yet.
    I'm looking for input. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and I intend to bring it up again. And talk with him about it again. Because I don't understand why he suggested the once a week appointment again and I won't know if I don't ask him, right?
    All options are really still open at this point.
    I justed wanted some opinions (other than the opinion of my therapist and BF).
     
  7. Chip

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    What I'd suggest is bringing all your concerns... including your fear that perhaps this is partially about the $... to your therapist. Assuming you have a good relationship with him, he should be able to take that concern (which is actually one that most therapists are used to talking about and addressing) without being offended by it, and the two of you can honestly discuss it.

    And perhaps talk to him also honestly about what he feels will happen if you stop. In my experience, the issue is that often, when there's a break, whatever progress was being made, especially when it's about getting into tough, difficult material, tends to backslide (some or a lot depending on the client and the situation), and it can then take a fair amount of time to get back to the place where the client is ready to do the work. And some clients (not necessarily you in this case) will basically, unconsciously, repeat that pattern over and over, because the fear of doing the work -- again, not at a conscious level -- gets in the way of actually doing the work.

    Of course, I don't know your particular situation, so I may be dead wrong. Just offering it as it is a common experience.
     
  8. beenthrdonetht

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    I wish I could learn this by just reading it. Instead of experiencing it. But then, that's the whole point of therapy.
     
  9. Chip

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    Yes, absolutely. And the really fun part is... even when you know and understand it, you can still find yourself rationalizing. So knowing how and when you're inclined to do that can help you to recognize, and hopefully catch yourself. But it takes time and practice. :slight_smile:
     
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