hi i’m new to this. sooo, i like a girl and she’s SOO PERFECT OMG. all the boys are into her but she rejects all of the ones that ask her for a date. the problem is that i think that she’s straight because she’s talking about boys all the time. i don’t know if she does this to fit in the group or just because she likes boys. she’s my best friend and we’re on the same group, but she’s like the queen and there are two other girls that never get off her so we don’t spend so much time together. other problem is that she lives at 45 minutes from my house and that’s really a problem because we cannot hang out as often as i’ll like. my paren’t don’t think it’s a good idea that we are alone together because they think that she’s straight and that i could hurt my feelings. yesterday i invited her to my house and we spent all the afternoon and had dinner together, but know i can’t stop thinking about her and the worst thing is that she doesn’t answer my messages. what can i do about this? sorry for my bad english
Hi eleballena, well first, your English is fine. Better than good. It reads just the way U.S. girls talk. Not answering your messages is a not good sign, but there are so many reasons for that (and they spin around your brain), so I might let that go for now. Also, I'm sure every thread about crushing on your bestie always says brace yourself, don't get your hopes up, etc. Which is what your parents are telling you too. Although they also just might worry that she does like girls. Parents are like that, even if they are LGBTQ-friendly, they get protective. I think in another thread you mentioned that you had told a friend about your crush, then backed out of it. Now, things like that do get around, even if you denied it. So she might be clued in, or at least suspicious. If she keeps on trying to hold your hand, maybe it means something. But I guess there are only a few ways to find out. You could see how she feels about LGBTQ by mentioning some singer or athlete who isn't straight. You haven't exactly asked her out, but you did ask her over to your home, which is a good start for anything, friendship or more. I understand how you want to be careful, because you already have a good friendship. It seems to me, from reading this forum, that friends usually react OK if they learn a friend is crushing on them. Not always, but more often than not.
Hey is there anything she does that would make you think she is into girls? Also does she know that you like girls? It is really tough to know exactly what to do because you don't want to damage the friendship you already have but then at the same time you want to know.
hey. thank you for answering me. i guess it’s normal to be thinking about her all the time. it’s also difficult for me to handle it because i hang out with her group and they all go to the same class except me. my school is not like a normal US highschool, we are 3 different classes and we only change for english, religion and the other language we chose, but i don’t have a single class with her. today, in the first break we had i was all the time with her, talking and all that stuff, we were only the half of the group, but when the other half came over that 2 sticky girls jumped over her and she forgot i was there so i left them and went to talk to other people. i don’t think she even noticed. then, at the lunch break we had to make a cue but anyone wanted to go first and last (i don’t mind) so we did a raffle kind of thing to set up our places for the rest of the school year and guess what, i’m not next to her. and, who is she next to? a sticky girl. they were all the break together, giving each other hugs, kisses, etc. i couldn’t be watching it anymore without hurting myself so i had to left and spend the rest of the break with another group, again. that’s not a problem because i talk to everybody and have many friends. but today i noticed that she does the same things she does to me to everybody. i thing i may have to take a break of hanging around her to clear all my thoughts and see if she misses me or if she doesn’t care. i also might get expelled from school, and if that happens i cannot go to the the school trip and that would be a good opportunity because we would be spending 4 days together. but idk sorry if i’m confusing all of you.
hey. thank you for answering me. i guess it’s normal to be thinking about her all the time. it’s also difficult for me to handle it because i hang out with her group and they all go to the same class except me. my school is not like a normal US highschool, we are 3 different classes and we only change for english, religion and the other language we chose, but i don’t have a single class with her. today, in the first break we had i was all the time with her, talking and all that stuff, we were only the half of the group, but when the other half came over that 2 sticky girls jumped over her and she forgot i was there so i left them and went to talk to other people. i don’t think she even noticed. then, at the lunch break we had to make a cue but anyone wanted to go first and last (i don’t mind) so we did a raffle kind of thing to set up our places for the rest of the school year and guess what, i’m not next to her. and, who is she next to? a sticky girl. they were all the break together, giving each other hugs, kisses, etc. i couldn’t be watching it anymore without hurting myself so i had to left and spend the rest of the break with another group, again. that’s not a problem because i talk to everybody and have many friends. but today i noticed that she does the same things she does to me to everybody. i thing i may have to take a break of hanging around her to clear all my thoughts and see if she misses me or if she doesn’t care. i also might get expelled from school, and if that happens i cannot go to the the school trip and that would be a good opportunity because we would be spending 4 days together. but idk sorry if i’m confusing all of you.
i don’t know, she’s a very touchy person with all of her friends and i i told her i liked girls she would probably think that i’m a weirdo and would never want to hang out again with me. i love her to much to let her go.
thank you all, i mean, i joined this forum yesterday and you have already helped me so much. maybe i could update you every day and you could give me your opinions and maybe help me out, but only if you want. xxx
i hope it does, we haven’t talked about LGBT though. but last year there was this girls that left school and now on her instagram she posted that she was bi and and she has a girlfriend and they laugh about her. i always defend her but i don’t want them to know yet. i only know this girl but we don’t talk at all.
Well it sounds as though for the moment you are not in a place where you want to come out and that's fine, you should only do it when you want to. As for your friend, it doesn't sound as though she is giving off any clues that she is into girls so it's kind of too hard to tell.
Your situation is totally normal. Maybe come out to her as bi and see how that goes. If you do she might come out if she isn't straight and that would be great. And if not your friendship already sounds pretty great so I wouldn't worry about it too much.
i think that if i came out she would look at me in a different way and maybe she wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore because she would think that i'm trying to flirt with her or that i like her (and she's completely right). the thing is that lately we are having some problems and i think that is not the right time to do it. but maybe i could try in some weeks (if i feel the same way of course) im trying to figure out how i really feel about her.
so today i didn't want to go up to her to say "hello" and see how she reacted if it seemed like i didn't realize she was there. she walked next to me on various occasions but didn't say anything. at lunch tim, she came with her group and said to me: "what a long time", i looked at her with a WTF face but she laughed and left. i had to sit next to her at lunch and my friends and i did disgusting things to the food because we didn't want to eat it (i think it's reactive) and they all fooled me. she was laughing at what i did but she barely talked to me. we didn't say anything to each other in the rest of the day and i realized that she doesn't care if i'm or not with her, that was really a deception.
I don't think it necessarily means she doesn't care a thing all but it's probably true that she doesn't feel the way you do about it. Unfortunately that can happen. I think trying not to think too much about it or overthink the situation is best. Enjoy any friendship you have but don't expect anything more.
I know this is serious, but I still got a lol out of this. It seems that the signs are all just so confusing. But also typical for your age group. It is nice that you can be out to your parents, so you can at least talk about (some of) it with them. I hope that you either have a big breakthrough with Ms. Perfect, or some other special person just pops into your world. Your writing shows that you are a solid person, and a good "catch". P.S.: I also loved the way you described the "sticky" girls. Lol! It is as if I am back in high school right now.
