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Should i go back to school?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Reviskova, Feb 21, 2019.

  1. Reviskova

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    for context, i am currently homeschooled right now. my mother took me out of public school for my mental health at the beginning of this school year (which i am extremely thankful for). and, next year would be grade 10 for me, so the start of high school. i was thinking of going back into public school next year, or the year after but i do not know if it is really worth it. i do want to see my friends but even if i am out of school i still can. maybe i should wait until grade 12, or just not go back at all.

    i do not know if it is worth risking my mental health again. would i be missing too much? i know high school for many is the last chance to make real friends. but i do not know if i am interested in making any new ones. the main reason i am doubting going back is because it will effect my mental health in the way that i am transgender, and dont pass well. (obviously, cause im pretty young) and im sure my classmates would "accidentally" mess up my name and our pronouns on purpose. even if it is a accident, i feel like i would be way too sensitive to it and it would make me feel like crap. i am from a pretty progressive area, but that doesnt apply to most of the jerks that are in my school district.

    i am not a very social person either, and i think of myself having mild or some kind of social anxiety. so my social needs are fine where they are now, that is not a issue. if i go back in grade 11 or 12, im pretty sure that would give me enough time to work on passing more and maybe even get hormones, which i have been considering. im just not sure if it is worth going back into public school at all, though. any advice much appreciated.
     
  2. Chierro

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    Personally I'm always under the mindset of public school over homeschool, but that's just mean. There are definitely factors to consider.

    You're from a pretty progressive area, so have you considered talking to school administration about support in place in the school for trans students? That's the first step that comes to mind for me. A good school in a progressive area I would hope would have supports in place for helping and protecting trans students.

    But there's also to consider: do you believe there is anything that you are distinctly missing out on from not being in public school? You're not very social, which is totally fine, and if you feel comfortable socially where you are now, then the socialization of public school isn't a total necessity. The answer to that question should really help answer going forward.
     
  3. Monraffe

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    That is a tough one. It’s hard to get out from behind the eight ball. Socializing in unsafe settings will help you develop skills you need to handle the difficult situations but those really bad situations cause problems with your mental health that keep you from being able to confront them. You need a way, a mechanism to protect yourself mentally and maybe waiting a couple of years will help. Or there could be other solutions too. Are you able to talk to a counselor about this? To help you come up with a plan?
     
  4. Destin

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    Yes. I know it seems really cool to be homeschooled at the time and not have to deal with all the stuff normal students put up with, but at the same time you miss out on quite a bit without even realizing it.

    I went to traditional schools the entire time, and my boyfriend was homeschooled/online schooled for two years. There are certain things he just has a complete disconnect on that anyone who went to high school normally wouldn't even think about because it's so routine to them.

    For example, the gradually increasing level of responsibility you don't actually notice. In 9th grade, it's really no different than any other year. 10th grade, at many schools, you start to get an "independent" hour where you don't have a class and just do whatever you want for an hour like a second lunch period. At first everyone uses it to goof off and play with their friends, but after a while you start naturally using it productively like studying or getting homework done early during it - which teaches time management skills very subtly.

    Then in 11th grade everyone starts getting cars, and drive to school themselves. At first it just seems cool to have a car and have that freedom, but soon you subtly learn things like scheduling your classes in ways where you can avoid rush-hour or get out before/after everyone else to beat the massive traffic jam in the school parking lot every day. This subtly teaches planning ahead and efficiency.

    Stuff like that seems minor, but the effects are real. Now in college, all the homeschool kids I know have problems with efficiency and time management because they're used to having all day to do their work at whatever pace they want with no urgency or conflicting schedules. It hits them hard when they suddenly don't have all day anymore and don't know how to use the 1 hour they have for homework/studying since they're used to having 8.
     
  5. Reviskova

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    i was always of that mindset too, and im pretty sure my mother was as well. because, you develop more skills in public school that you notice. but on the other hand, i always had a lot of trouble with things that teachers didnt know how to help me with. i do not think it is a learning disability, i just learn sort of differently. so now that i can do it in a way i understand and on my own time it helps me understand and remember things like specific math subjects better. also the choice to learn what you want (with guidelines) is really freeing in my opinion, and i can focus on and learn about the thing i want to make my career in the future, when i couldnt before.

    i honestly believe, that i am not missing much if anything from being homeschooled. i find being around people for the majority of the day mentally draining. of course i miss the time with my friends, but i still get to spend time with them. i never thought public school was for me anyway, because of what i mentioned before. when i eventually do go back, because i am planning on it but am not totally sure, i am sure either me, my mother, or both could talk to the school administration about my questions and concerns because from what i know, its not a overly progressive school, but other transgender students have gone there and they were understanding about their situations and changed things in the system etc.
     
  6. Reviskova

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    i am pretty sure i know how to deal with such difficult and uncomfortable situations already, because i have been dealing with it for a while. but the thing is if it is happening constantly it does bother me. i do not currently have a counselor or therapist yet but im sure when the time comes and if i do need help making a plan i could get one or consult someone who is educated. i personally think i have pretty thick skin when it comes to difficult situations, but maybe i am just good at keeping it to myself. those types of situation (misgendering, wrong name, awkward questions etc) are the main thing keeping me from school.
     
  7. Reviskova

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    I agree i am missing out on some things, definitely. but i never really worked out being homeschooled with my mother because it was 'cool', it was more for my mental health above anything else. and from what my friends say, it is the same old same old and i am not missing anything. those examples do make sense, however i feel might not be very necessary, especially if i take it upon myself to practice time management. however i do understand what you mean. i just feel like homeschooling at least for one more full year is the right thing for me because it gives me much more freedom and takes pressure off. but i do realize it could become a problem in the future and that is something i need to work on.
     
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  8. Love4Ever

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    I strongly disagree. I know that’s not a popular opinion to have but that’s what I think. Especially someone with fragile mental health it can be a very toxic environment to put yourself in. You do need to interact and meet people yes, but you don’t need the negativity that public school will give you. Please, do yourself a favor OP and do what you’re comfortable with. You’re not missing out on anything.
     
  9. Love4Ever

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    I never know anymore why I bother to say stuff in threads like this disparaging homeschooling. Because no one cares anyway and I’m used to people judging me for it, but I can’t let people walk over something so completely and not speak up. The people I’ve encountered with the most time mismanagement skills in my life have never been homeschooled children. All the people I have met, and I’ve met a lot of homeschooled kids in my life, were some of the most responsible, mature, organized people I’ve ever met met. Not to mention kind and empathetic, skills which no one seems to appreciate anymore. So yeah, I wish people on here would quit dissing homeschooling especially when none of you know anything about it.
     
  10. Chierro

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    I'm really not sure why you're jumping down my throat. I gave my personal opinion but also said that there are factors to consider on whether public school would be good for OP. And I literally put down that OP should do what he's comfortable with.

    Am I biased toward public school? Yes, because I went to public school and teach in public school. However, I am perfectly aware that there are benefits in homeschooling. I am literally always under the mindset of people should do what they're comfortable with.

    So, please, stop jumping down people's throats because they give a negative opinion on homeschool (which I didn't). Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and even if they haven't been homeschooled, they are allowed to present their observations from what they've seen. YOU are presenting your opinions just as much as anyone else is. So, seriously, no need to attack people.
     
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  11. Destin

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    I see you missed the part where I said my boyfriend spent 2 years in high school homeschooling. He's told me everything about it, I've read all of his homework from it he still has saved, and I've looked through all of his class materials he still has. It was even in the same state as you so is more than likely the same program you went to or similar to it, FLVS.

    He had less than half as much homework as me, it was graded far more leniently than mine, and took far less time than mine in both the public and private schools I've been to. He went to a private school before starting the homeschooling and he said the same thing while comparing his private high school vs. homeschooled high school stuff.
     
    #11 Destin, Mar 3, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2019
  12. Mirko

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    Hey everyone, please don't start derailing the thread. If there is an issue, or before an argument starts and it takes on a life of its own, please use the report button.

    I think where one needs to be mindful of is using general statements, or statements that are too broad. I have met people who just went to public school and have terrible time management, organizational and prioritization skills. Some people learn these skills later, or as they go through college, university. Others learn them just before they finish their education, and others through volunteer work for example. Some need more time, to learn things and doing it in an environment with less deadlines, or feeling the pressure of needing to do something within a certain amount of time works better.:slight_smile:

    To the OP: it sounds like that you feel comfortable with homeschooling, which is really all that matters. An argument can be made that both, homeschooling and attending public school or a private school have their own benefits and disadvantages. No system is perfect but each of them fulfills a need, provides the environment for someone to study and learn the skills, knowledge on which they can continue building new skills and knowledge. Moreover, it sounds like you have a balanced school/social life as you still can spend time with friends. You have an overriding reason for continuing to pursue homeschooling, and if it helps you to ensure you don't have to worry about your mental health well being, that's important too.

    If you feel it would be good to continue homeschooling for another year, and if your mom, or parents agree and feel it would be good, I'd say go for it. There are other ways of being able to address social anxiety and perhaps trying to become more social (if this is something you would like to do).
     
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  13. Reviskova

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    i agree mirko. never wanted to make this thread about arguing, but thank you all for the advice. and yes, i am kilometers more comfortable than i was with public school. i do still have a lot to consider though. i definitely agree i usually needed more time to grasp things than all the other kids in school and thats why i feel like homeschooling is right for me. however i do not want to totally miss the 3 highschool years. but im still not sure if i will ever go back. both my mom and me agreed on another year at least, definitely.

    remember guys, public school, private school, alternative school, or homeschooling all depends on the person. there is no right or wrong for every single human being on this planet. like mirko said, they all have different pros and cons. sorry if i did anything to stir up arguments.
     
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  14. Mirko

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    Not to worry about anything. It's good that you wrote out your thoughts; doing that probably gave you the confirmation that continuing homeschooling is the best option at the moment. :slight_smile:
     
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