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Coming out advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ILikeDucks, Feb 20, 2019.

  1. ILikeDucks

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi all,
    I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I am attracted to females, which looking back on my past is something that I should have done a while ago. I am not sure how my family or friends would react, and I think that's the part that's worrying me. I came out to my partner a while back and received a lot of abuse and it is now making me nervous to talk to people around me about this. The only other person in my life who is aware of what I am going through is a friend who is openly gay, and they are accepting. There has been so much denial in my life and trying to hide who I am, and I am not sure how to handle this or where to go from here. Any advice would be much appreciated.
     
  2. AnAtypicalGuy

    Full Member

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    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Have you tried speaking to your friend about your struggles to accept yourself? It sounds like you’ve unfortunately been through a lot of hardship and not much positivity towards your sexuality, so maybe your friend can help you to see some of the brighter aspects of being LGBT.
     
  3. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member

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    Out to everyone
    It sounds like the experience with your partner has increased your wariness about coming out, but I would urge you to set aside their reaction as coming from a place of hurt and anger. Your partner had a personal interest and the revelation that you are attracted to the same sex was most likely wounding.

    Coming out is scary, because we are taking a walk into the unknown, but over the last 10-20 years societal attitudes towards LGB people have really changed for the better and people are not so hung up about our sexual orientation. I'm not saying it's perfect and everyone is brimming with happiness when we tell them, but in the majority of cases people are just pleased that we are honest and value the relationship enough to be our authentic selves around them.

    I would start with friends first and then move onto family. As you are in the UK, you might want to check out FFLAG - a charity that offers support, advice and information to friends and relatives of lesbian and gay people. www.fflag.org.uk
     
  4. ILikeDucks

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thank you both for the replies. I understand my partner's reaction, although it hurt at the time.

    I will get into contact with friends as that seems like the first step. I think I'll be okay once the conversation has started, it's finding a way to bring it up that's the issue. I would love to be out to everyone as an ending point, it feels like it would provide a send of freedom. The link is much appreciated too.