Im 27, I don’t have real lgbt friends to talk to besides my girlfriend, lol, I would like to really start having friends, how do we go about really developing friendships and texting or talking, I do need a friend.. someone to talk to other than my girlfriend, I’m a girl btw
Hi @Nic2552 I can relate to wanting a real friend or two. I’ve looked for local lesbian, LGBT groups, etc. and tried meetup, but there’s nothing near me. I’ve emailed the few groups that I did find, but no response, so I guess that they’re not active anymore. Whilst I do have my therapist to talk to once a week, it would be nice to have somebody else in real life that understood the whole of my situation. I have spoken to a couple people about the domestic abuse aspect, but not the sexuality part, so I still feel like I’m keeping up a pretence. I have to be a bit cautious about putting myself out there, which will change eventually, but I still don’t know how I’ll go about finding potential friends.
I’m lucky to be in a place with a LGBTQ presence. I joined a musical group that is LGBTQ and have made friends through that. If I lived where I used to be I think I’d need to travel to a big city. I’m still looking for a support group though, can’t find that here (coming out group, or bisexual group).
Hey I think most people can relate to wanting real life LGBT friends, I wouldn't say that coming out means you have to completely change your friendship group, unless of course that's something you want to do but I do however agree that there is nothing quite like talking to someone else that just completely gets it. EC is a great place to make online friends, I wouldn't recommend it as a place to make real life friends, not because the people here are bad, not at all but due to the security measures in place, exchanging of contact details is forbidden in public areas. That means anywhere others can see it, so threads, walls etc. It is possible to exchange contact details once both people are full members and can access the private message function but of course caution is always advisable. I'm not saying don't make friends here, it can be a great thing but just don't expect immediate offsite contact.
I came on here for the same reason! Im also 27 - not really out of the closet yet but im getting there. Id be happy to chat with you . Im also a girl with no lgbt friends and absolutely no idea how to go about it!
That being said, I'm always happy to chat to people in threads or if anyone wants to chat via the walls they are more than welcome to post on my wall anytime .
I think it's one of the difficulties of being gay, that making friends is complicated. It's natural to want to have other LGBT friends and also friends of the same gender, however this can cause multiple problems. Jealous partners is clearly one of those issues and who can blame them when you want friends that you could potentially be attracted to. Because of that, I think it's very important to be open with your partner about why you desire to find friends and ensure your relationship with friends is transparent. Of course it's also difficult because you have to be clear about your relationship boundaries in the friendship. In other words, make clear that you're looking for a friend and not a partner, and make sure you don't compromise on that. It's also worth remembering that just because you have the same sexuality and gender, that doesn't necessarily mean, you have anything else in common. It's important to find other things that you both want to discuss or enjoy doing. A relationship based on one thing alone will soon become boring or worse, a relationship based on sexuality alone will soon become about sex and attraction! As others have said, an online friendship has pro's and con's, but it's as good a place as any to start.
Write to me on my wall ,but the only problem is I don’t know how to respond back to post on my wall... it doesn’t allow me to reply, I need lgbt friends is that the only way of talking to each other on here?
To respond, go and post on the person's wall who posted on yours. You can also apply for full membership (at the moment, applications are taking about 4-6 weeks, though we hope to be able to speed that up). If granted full membership, you'll gain access to personal messaging and (when we get it re-launched) our chat room.
I will talk with anyone on my wall. I have 3 or 4 people I talk to daily. I consider them as my friends for sure. These people know more about my life than my family. I also have a number of friends in the LGBT community, locally and Bedford is only a town. I consider myself very lucky. So if anyone is feeling isolated , please come and chat. Jon x
I will post on your wall, then you can either go to my wall and reply or I usually press the blue 'show conversation button' under the message and that brings up all messages back and forth and gives you a box to write the reply in. If you still have trouble let me know.
Have you tried meetup? "Making friends" in your twenties/thirties is insanely hard for, I'd argue, most people. The biggest thing is to not come off like you're trying to make friends, otherwise, you'll come across to people as being desperate or weird. Honestly, your best bet is to just get out into the world and try different things and end up connecting with whoever you're going to connect with. I would maybe suggest some physical activities like some kind of dance class/sport. I know a few buddies who joined a volleyball league because they wanted to meet girls, which is sorta funny.
You may want to give it time but there are some wonderful folks here. Feel free to post on our walls. I've made some amazing friends here - the first gay, bi, trans friends I've ever had since coming out myself. I enjoy writing real messages which resemble letters so people get to know me. It's a challenge making friends if our conversations are little more than a few words as you would find in a simple text.
You're always welcome to write on my profile if you're looking for someone to talk to, I'm also 27, bi, married, mostly in the closet. Online friendships aren't the same as the real thing but it's awfully nice to have a place where you can speak honestly and know someone is listening (when it comes to my sexuality, I don't have that in real life, but I've met lots of great people here).
I feel there may be a lot of us looking to make friends in the community, myself included. It would be nice to able to talk to others more often, as I lack any friends in the community locally.
I have made friends through forums that relate to hobbies and such. I have met these people. It's not about sex so they're more amenable to friendship. Some have opened up their dinner tables and homes to me when in their areas. Quite amazing. I don't think this is a good avenue for any sort of deep friendship. There are exceptions. A few people have met through EC. However, mostly it's about support and sometimes it can just scratch the surface. For some, the buffer and barrier that this venue offers gives them reassurance. That's fine. They don't want to go much further than that. Nowadays, walls are used much more than messages. People have become less willing to communicate on a deeper and more sincere level.
Hi, I’m a guy but I’m recently coming to terms with myself about wanting to be a woman. The only person I have to talk to is my daughters mom & she’s more like a best friend now. She accepts me & who I am & never downed me but I’d love to have more female friends. Any LGBT friends really because I feel like the real me is fighting to get out of this box
