Ur Boy Did It

Holy crap.
I just told my mom I'm trans.

It went as expected. I had no reason to be as nervous as I was because she's very accepting. She doesn't always understand it, but she'll accept you for who you are. We were talking about my plans for the future and possibly applying for a college program but I've been very reluctant to do much of anything towards pursuing my career. Then I just told her.

I just said "The reason I'm so reluctant to do anything is because I'm pretty sure I'm trans." and I cried. a lot. She said it's okay and she'll support me in what I do and who I am. She told me she doesn't understand it but she sees that this is who I am and what I need to be happy. She asked me if I want to change my name. I told her my new name. She said she'll probably call me (birth name) but I can't fault her for that. It's a lot to take in. I think she's just glad that there's a reason I've been such a loser. (Not that she said that but we both think it. I haven't done anything that I wanted to do. I'm really quite a mess.)
She asked if I want to talk to someone about this so I can figure out what I want to do from here.

I know that I want to go on hormones but I didn't mention that because it seemed like too much at once.

Tomorrow I'm going to look more into therapy. I guess my question here is: What should I look for in a therapist? I know that there are gender therapists but how do I know who to go to? I live in a major city so finding someone won't be an issue once I know what to look for.

Also, how do I bring up hormones? I was thinking I'd wait until I talk to a therapist and they could help me out with that. Now that my mom knows, I just want to go. I want it all. (I know that's not realistic, it's a process) I want hormones, I want a name change, I want to change my birth certificate. I want to live.

I've been in a pretty bad place the past few years and for the first time, I see the light. It will be okay. There's a life out there for me and I can do this and be myself.

I sobbed like a baby through most of the conversation but it was mostly relief and we talked a bit about how I've been holding onto my secret because our family has been through a lot lately.

So yeah, I told her. I shared the secret I've been keeping since I was fourteen.

Now what?

Also, any advice for telling the rest of my family would be great. I have no idea how my grandma or aunt and cousins will react. I think my dad is transphobic but we don't talk much or generally get along so his support isn't necessary.


Thanks,
Ben