Came Out to My Brother Tonight

Congrats! My brother was my first as well. When I heard him say the words, "I don't judge, you are my brother" I cried also!
Dean

 

I’m glad it went well and he is supportive. Good luck as you continue along this journey.

 

Congrats, Razorbacks!
I've been following your story closely as I'm on a very similar journey this year. I have some updates of my own that I'll post shortly, but thank you for continuing to share.
If your experience has been similar to mine, then you'll probably find that two things are true:
1. It's impossible to assume what someone's reaction might be when you tell them. I've been totally surprised and humbled in a good way at the reactions of people I've told so far.
2. Once the truth is out there, it's both elating and terrifying at the same time.
Congrats again!

 

@Razorbacks so happy that it went well! Having people you can talk to during the process is a big help for sure! You mention the plan to build the support system... I know it’s not my business, I’m just curious... how detailed is the plan? When I came out I had it planned and re-planned it was crazy. I strted therapy during the process which helped. I did kinda sped up telling my ex wife from what I was originally planning but it had to happen. Anyway congrats on coming out to those two big steps for sure!

 

Conrats! So happy to hear that your brother's reaction was so supportive and accepting! Awesome! No wonder you feel great. After growing up together it's meaningful for our loved ones to know our real self. I have six siblings who I have yet to tell. Such positive news such as yours gives me encouragement!

 

Well done! I have yet to come out to my brother who is a few years younger than me. We used to be very close when we were younger but over the years not so much sadly. I dream of being able to be totally honest with him in time, but find it difficult, I remain fearful I suppose but great news for you

 

So sad to read that there exists some sort of estrangement between you and your brother. Perhaps coming out might be the event to bring you closer? It doesn't sound like you have much to lose my friend. If you come out and your brother remains aloof, you still haven't lost much. I myself have six siblings to tell, but plan to do so in the spring. Hopefully they will be accepting, but if not, that's okay too. After all, it's my life, not their's.

 

I have four brothers and, probably, will only come out to one of them. It is inspiring that you had the courage to do this!

 

Why, my friend, are you so reluctant? Do they have some sort of medical condition which causes you to hold back? Are they such religious zealots that they would be horrified? I have no idea what the reaction of my siblings will be when I come out but I plan to tell them all anyway. Since I have a gay nephew, niece and cousin, I don't believe they will be shocked.

 

Complicated! One gay brother has a husband who is the expert on "all things gay". When my other brother (the one I will tell) came out as bisexual (after he had been divorced from a woman for a couple years) this guy was very condescending and insulting and my parents and other siblings bought into it and my bisexual brother ended up being estranged from the family for several years. Mostly, because they liked my ex sister-in-law and were mad that my brother had left her because of this.

So, I can't announce the same thing. My parents would freak and my brother's husband will not be discreet. I have a gay sister I might tell. And, maybe my youngest brother. But, no one is good at discretion in my family and my parents simply cannot know this. They are just too old (mid and late eighties) and do not need the stress.

Razorbacks. I am a bit jealous that you have a sibling that you are that close to! That is wonderful!

 

This brings back memories. Saving money, exit strategy, consulting with attorney on legal options (though we actually did it uncontested so). It’s great that you’ve thought it through but also allowing it to flow naturally.

The high you get after finally telling someone so important who you are is kinda amazing. It’s almost like you’ve held your breath every time you were around them and now you are breathing for the first time, or at least for me (even those who didn’t take it so well). While it doesn’t last, it will come with each person. And each time gets a little easier. Then when you finally are out to the world (for me that was telling my ex wife) it’s just in over drive!

 

I'm so happy

So happy for you. I did the same built a network up of people I knew would support me. Then if I'm honest if the rest didn't, it wouldn't matter!
My sister, my only sibling has been incredibly supportive!!

 

I now understand your very unique situation. Thank you for sharing. It is indeed quite complicated. You appear to be very empathetic in your decision not to trouble your aged parents with all this. That's probably best. At least you have one brother and perhaps two other siblings to share this news with. We all need to confide in someone.

 

Congrats on starting your process of coming out totally. I agree that initial euphoria you feel when you finally come out is awesome.

 

True, and I hope in time I will be able to - it feels like a big thing to do. Thanks

 

I wish I had a brother like you.

 

Sounds like you’ve got a great brother Razorbacks!