Feeling lost

Hey @Siananigen

Welcome to EC! A great place to talk out whatever you’re going through. :}

As far as meeting women, I’m guessing you mean to date but as you’re reluctant to meet anyone in person yet (for that, anyway), maybe take a closer look at meetup.com. It’s not a dating site - although if you meet someone to date, they can’t stop you. ;]

I would say, have a look around for any women only groups in your area to see if there’s one focussed on something you enjoy. Running, reading, eating...for example. Go to some of their events and just get used to being around other women without the anxiety of a dating scenario. After that, see if you can find any lgbt meetup groups for women and check them out. I’ve found that their focus is a bit more social than activity driven but you get a variety of events within the group so you can pick and choose.

I was very nervous to join the lesbian/bi meetup group I belong to but it has turned out to be very unintimidating. Some women are chattier than others and some are duds but that’s ok. It does give you a chance to meet all sorts and help you figure out what kind of woman you might be interested in, going forward. :}

 

Hi there! I am also recently separated and have fairly recently come to terms with my sexuality. I can understand the fear of what people might think if you come out, and then just start dating a man again. I've sometimes worried about looking like a fake. But, there are literally 7 billion different sexualities on the planet, everyone is unique. You're attracted to who you're attracted to, whether it be a man or a woman, no apologies necessary. If someone is saying or thinking that you're doing it for attention or as an excuse, then they're not being the supportive, caring person you need in your life. You know who you are, and what you want, so that's the first most important step! Stay strong and work on meeting people who are loving and supportive of you and your choices

 

My dear friend, try not to be paralyzed by your fears. Fears about things are often worse than reality. Since you only recently came to terms about your sexuality and are separated, perhaps you might wish to get involved in a LGBT social group. You live in Melbourne? There must be a large LGBT community there which may sponsor talks, sporting events, hiking, trips, dinners, dances, gaming etc...You could attend some activity that matches your interest with people who identify with you. Go slow and make some friends. You sound so isolated. Having the support of others will give you greater confidence. Who knows, you may find a partner! *smile*

 

I think probably your thoughts about what will happen are far scarier than what will actually happen. I know it's tough but the less you think about what other people might think the happier you will be. If you want to tell people you are bisexual then go for it, it doesn't have to be in a big attention grabbing way you can just drop it into conversation if that's what you want.
As for meeting women, I think you should see if there are any LGBT groups near you where you could maybe meet some LGBT friends and then take it from there, that way it will remove the pressure of a relationship straight away and you never know who you might meet.

 

Hello!

Welcome to EC

I’m also Bi and I’ve had a lot of support from other members of the LGBT community. Anyone who is genuinely supportive would never question or invalidate your sexuality.

I would agree with the others, look out for meet ups, LGBT groups and events and women only events and im sure you’ll meet some like minded people.

I feel ya with having kids and finding the time!