When did you realized you were lgbtq, what time in your life, when did you find the courage to tell your family ..friends. what was your first time experience (making love)?first love..what made you say im going to live me..?
I liked boys and men, the male gender since the age of 6 or 7. I realized what it actually meant and came across the concept of LGBTQ+ first at the age of 16. I was comfortable enough to come out to people in real life at the age of 27. That was also around the same time I fully accepted myself.
I knew something was different about me by age 11-12. My first time with a guy was not so good so I am going to let that one rest. I never did tell my parent but did tell my wife a couple of weeks ago. After so long feeling less than, I am finally free. It only took until I was almost 47. Dean
I had a boyfriend when I was 13 but we didn't really do sexual stuff but I was often aroused around him. Then when I was 15, our friend Susie showed up with breasts after the summer. I felt these urges for her that I had felt for my friend. I hadn't understood they were sexual attraction until then. I could feel it for some boys and some girls. I was confused. I was pretty sure this wasn't normal at all but I had no one to talk to about it.
I have always liked boys in a romantic way as a young teen, I was also really lonely and I noticed I tended to cling on to my girlfriends a lot. I called a LBGT hotline and they asked me how I would feel kissing my girlfriends, so I started wondering about that. At 19 I accepted myself as bi and I'm now 35. I have been on the spectrum from a kinsey 2-4 but lately I'm feeling a bit more lesbian. I have never fantasized sexually about a woman but now I do. Loosing my satisfaction with men. I'm feeling more lesbian lately.
I think I've been different since I can remember but I only figured out one of the factors of me being different was my sexuality when I was in my mid 20's.
Maybe around middle school. I knew gay people existed forever but that was the first time I explored the idea I could gay too. It turns out girls ARE just hotter...and I never liked guys I just thought I did
5th or 6th grade for me I started to have attraction to some of my teachers! in 7th grade it became obvious to me that I have attraction to other men in general but never had a label attached to my behavior, and felt different when other boys at school (all boys school btw), started talking about girls and stuff, I didn't relate. I took religion (Islam) as a cover for my behavior of not talking about girls in general, and never mentioned my attraction towards boys to any one. In college I had my first real crush, my best friend (still is!), but after graduation I realized that what I'm witnessing is never attainable, I felt alone and religiously speaking, thought that I'll be "corrected" if I marry a woman. And that's what I did. Got married to a beautiful woman, 7 years younger than me, but since day one of marriage she started her weird and sometimes abusive behavior. I thought that this can be attributed to me not able to satisfy her sexually, but I was performing pretty well, especially at the beginning of the marriage. I felt guilty for one reason or the other. Her behavior got worse through the years and she started alienating me from my family and friends, creating enemies left and right. In the mid-90s I was exposed to the internet for the first time, and this is when I realized that I'm not alone, and what I am is "gay". It was an eye opener. But accepted the fact that I'll be always married to a woman. And my commitment to my wife and kids is more than any sexual urges or needs I'll have. I never acted upon my sexual attraction towards men, some time used porn but sporadically. It's not until late 2014 that I realized that my soon to be ex wife is really abusive (through my therapist), I started to re-create my boundaries with her and confronted her with her abusive ways and she got worse. so in December 2016 I decided to divorce her. We got separated, and she filed for divorce in January 2018, this is when I left the house for a small studio, and in February 2018 I started my online dating profile, and I met my bf and first real lover. It was my first gay experience ever at age 52, first kiss and first emotional commitment. It was beautiful but short lived (4 months .. no more!) We never continued together, but again remain friends till today. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't fall for this again and now I'm not looking for any relationship. I'm rebuilding myself, and may be in the future I might look again when I'm settled emotionally and financially since my divorce is till ongoing. Still not open to any of my family members nor my kids. I am out only to my therapist, a few gay friends, and a retired gay colleague of mine. This is my gay story in a nutshell!
I knew when I was probably 6-7 that I liked boys. I kissed a boy from up the street. I had my first real relationship when I was 12. His name was Andy. Back then it was not ok to be gay in small town Iowa so we were very discreet about it. We were together until I was 17. He never gave me a reason just that he was done. He was my first real lesson in heartbreak.
I've always known, but when did I realize it wasn't a thing with everyone? That would be beginning of 4th grade, when we were in early sex ed, when all the boys in the class wanted to watch the girl video, and I was just fine looking at the boys video.
Honestly, I probably knew all my life but it wasn't until I got my first Lacuna Coil CD and fell in love with the lead singer Cristina Scabbia. I was 15 at the time and I'm 35 now and I'm still just as in love with her as I was then (my current wife refers to her as my first wife because I kid that she's the only woman I would ever leave her for but she's straight and dating a really hot guy from Slipknot so ) I had a steady boyfriend all of high school and when I went to college I started partying more than he liked and we eventually went our separate ways. I took that opportunity to date and since I had already had feelings for a woman (regardless of never meeting her but it gave me things to think about) I was a little more open to dating both men and women. I have an issue about being touched (sexually or not touching just makes me uncomfortable) so it made it hard to be in relationships because eventually people want to be touchy feely and eventually have sex. I never really got comfortable enough with anyone to get to the sex part and sadly, that's why a lot of my relationship failed. I met my current wife and it took me about a month and a half before I'd let her touch me in a nonsexual way and it was about 8 months or so before we had sex. I was more scared and anxious about being touched then the actual sex itself and to be honest, I thing I finished because of simple biological reactions then anything emotional and I was so stressed out afterwards. Once I relaxed sex became great, but for the first few years of our relationship I struggled with being touched by her and I honestly thought she'd say f*** this and take off. But we've been together for 13 years and married for 3 of them. So I've had a lot of exs of both sexes, but I've only ever had sex with my wife and to be honest, I don't think I would change that.
I think that I’ve felt different since I was in my teens, and part of that was due to not being as interested in boys as my friends were, etc. But, it wasn’t until my late twenties that I worked out why I felt that way.
- When did you realized you were lgbtq, what time in your life 30's - When did you find the courage to tell your family ..friends. I didn't tell my family and have no plans to for the sake of my own safety. I've come out to safe long distance friends when I needed support. My other friends I plan on telling when I move away from family. With my new friends, I accidentally let it slip I was gay. - what was your first time experience (making love)? N/A, unless you count a non intentional orgasm with a close friend. - first love.. Ex-best friend, unless you count my crushes I didn't realize were crushes. - what made you say im going to live me..? Realizing there was nothing wrong about how I felt. I'm not going to live half a life being something that isn't human because some people are uncomfortable with sexuality. Being alive and whole and healthy is my goal.
