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Loving men vs. loving women

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by L8bloomer, Jan 20, 2019.

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  1. weary

    weary
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    Finally read through all the new posts...
    I at times think how much easier for me it would be if he just got fed up and left. I could be happy with a woman on my own. Then I think about our daughter and reality hits - it wouldn't be easy or better for her. So I can't follow my heart and do as I wish or want right now. I have to keep talking to my husband and hopefully he will agree to an open arrangement for me. I do tend to sometimes be impulsive - I get the mindset that I'm done and check out emotionally, so I am fighting tooth and nail with myself to stay involved in this marriage for the benefit of our daughter and in part for him. I'm working on the codependency issues we have on each other. But even that is hard as hell. He is happy when things go wrong or awry for me whereas I am trying to build him up to see he can make it on his own.
     
    #41 weary, Jan 23, 2019
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  2. L8bloomer

    L8bloomer
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    You know, I went to a woman’s strip club once and that was awkward. It was with my husband years ago and I felt like the women were almost too perfect physically. I could appreciate their bodies but it definitely was hard to feel attracted when there was no emotional connection.

    Maybe that’s also why it’s hard for me to imagine a life with a woman... having only experienced intimacy with one woman, who was also my best friend, so the emotional connection was there already...
     
    #42 L8bloomer, Jan 23, 2019
  3. L8bloomer

    L8bloomer
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    I hear you about the kids... I think that’s probably the biggest thing keeping my husband and I together. And the truth is, we are really good co-parents together. I enjoy our family outings. I look forward to maybe getting back to Disney in another year or two. That kind of stuff makes it harder...
     
    #43 L8bloomer, Jan 23, 2019
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  4. LaneyM

    LaneyM
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    I'm the same way. I need to take my time in relationships and have a strong connection before I feel real physical attraction.
     
    #44 LaneyM, Jan 25, 2019
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  5. Nickw

    Nickw
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    So. I have seen some great co parenting amoung some of my straight friends who left marriages.

    I one case, a friend ended up with his wife and ex wife living in the same house for awhile with children even by different fathers. I couldn't even do the math on who belonged to who. But, all the kids, who had a 20 year age span, seemed well adjusted and happy.

    I think most parents figure out ways to make things work for their kids when it is the top priority.

    I hope there is a solution for you and your husband that allows you both to be fulfilled. I bet there is.
     
    #45 Nickw, Jan 25, 2019
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  6. Sweconqui

    Sweconqui
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    I feel the same way I think. I have to have a emotional connection. In am not into strip clubs or clubs period. I would feel awkward. I've seen women that I thought were pretty but I am not a dominating being by any means. Shy, quiet but have a big heart ...
     
    #46 Sweconqui, Feb 12, 2019
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