Hello guys, I want to share my story, and ask for advice on how to deal with my parents I came out(unwillingly, my mom read my chats filtring with a boy on my phone) to them 6 years ago when i was 16, and... it was rough, to say the least. All the negative stuff you would expect (ranging from "you are getting aids" to "you are disgrace to our family", stuff like that) after a month or so, things calmed down, and my parents pretended like nothing happened. I had to made a decision: I either kept fighting to be who I truly was, risking my integrity in the process (they were really close to kick me out), or I played along their game, and pretended it never happened. I choose the second option And it turned out pretty well, they supported my college education in another city, so I could have my independence. At the moment I just graduated from university( i'm oficially an oil engineer). Along the way I met my soulmate Daniel, whose family is awesome and have kind of adopted me in this other city. We've been together the last 3 years and we are planning to rent an apartment together soon. But the situation with my parents haven't change. Know that i have a stable job, and the possibility of starting a life together with Dani is more certaint than ever, I feel that is my responsability to be honest with my parents, the thing is, I don't have a clue of how to start talking with them about this. I don't want to lose them because I love them Thank you for reading and sorry for my broken english Rodrigo
Rodrigo.....Oh yes, the "mountain climb" that is the coming out experience. Something that we have to fearfully force our way through...something that a straight person will never really understand. Telling a person who knows you so well...especially parents...that you are not who you appear to be. Been there, sobbed and cried through every second of it...waterfall tears. At that time I didn't think about sending a text, email or a letter to prepare the ground. One of the best ways to handle a coming out that may not go well is to write a letter. Writing a letter lets you be sure that you are saying things in the right way. It lets you collect and organize your thoughts without the pressure and nervousness of a face-to-face confrontation. It also lets the recipient of the letter have some time to collect their thoughts instead of the emotional outburst that happens too often. You don't have to be present when the letter is read...and that can be a very big plus! Think about it, it may be something that will work for you. There are some great sample letters here on empty closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking the time to think about it and to write one will help you be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! Check them out...they could be a real comfort! COMING OUT LETTERS: Go to the Login page, but do not login. At the top, you will see some links. Click on "Resources". That will bring up a page with a box on the upper left. In that box, you will see a link to "Coming out letters". Click that and you are there! I wish you much good luck...you can and will make it! .....David
I wish you all the best and very much strength in your process! It's a very bolt decision to come out to your parents and I hope that they will react in a good way. It's very good that you are independent from them and I doubt that they have forgotten about your coming out since you were younger, so they will have had time thinking about this topic internally and maybe they are more accepting right now than they have been in the past. and if you have a good relationship to them apart from your sexuality it's unlikely they don't want to pursue it.
