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Losing it... weight I mean!

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by I'mStillStanding, Jan 20, 2019.

  1. I'mStillStanding

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    A little background... This summer will be four years ago I realized I wasn’t happy and decided I was gonna fix that! The first thing (easily) I was able to acknowledge was my weight. At my heaviest I was like 375. Well I started working on it, then at the beginning of the next year is when I started coming out. At that point I had lost 100 lbs.

    Well needless to say the stress from all of that, and my spiral into depression I ended up gaining back like 50 lbs over 3 years. This has been a great realization for the ol’ mental health, let me tell you. I really realized this the first of November, and kinda freaked!

    I don’t know how I had missed it. I mean, I’d ballooned back up. So I made a few little changes and have lost 40 lbs. Now I’m determined to focus! I’m so close to getting back to where I was before coming out.

    I’m not stressing about counting calories yet, I’ll do that after next week. I’ll have to make sure I hit my calorie count because I tend to eat no where near enough if I don’t monitor it. Two weeks of not hitting the mark I’m ok with, anything past that I won’t lose any weight. Honestly, I’d like to lose at least 90 lbs more (105 lbs would be perfection hahaha).

    My biggest frustration is my family. They are all over weight. I don’t need them to stay motivated, I mean I’m completely gluten free due to an intolerance, but cook them food all the time with gluten. It doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is the constant... you’re starving yourself! You don’t need to lose too much more weight, you’ll look sick! You’ve lost too much weight too fast, and I’m worried about you! I don’t know, I just feel they don’t like it when anyone isn’t over weight honestly. How on earth do you tell your mom and grandmother to back off when you’re trying to lose weight?
     
  2. Destin

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    You should tell them that you're losing weight to be healthier and because it's a goal of yours to be more health conscious. They can't really argue with that, because doing so would be them telling you they don't want you to be healthy which makes no sense.

    As far as the losing too much too fast thing - the most someone should lose is about 2 pounds per week. Any more than that and it starts bringing up health risks and increases the likelihood of surgery being needed to remove the excess skin once the weight is lost since the body didn't have adequate time to readjust itself while the weight was being lost.

    So you could lose all 105 pounds that you want to in exactly one year and it would be completely healthy (52 weeks times 2 pounds a week = 104 pounds lost in one year).

    Congratulations on losing 100 pounds too, that's awesome!
     
    #2 Destin, Jan 20, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2019
  3. Forlong

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    The first time I lost a lot of weight at 15 yrs old(60 lbs overweight), my mom brothers family(my cousins and their mom) all refuse to see it. I had people constantly congratulating me and they would say I don’t see it. Later on same thing, just completely refusing to my accomplishments. Before long I had lost the whole 60lbs. and they finally noticed but responded by saying I looked sick or why am I forcing myself to look thin. I should be happy with myself instead of starving my body. I did it the right way exercising and eating healthy. My grandma sat me down and told me the truth they’re use to you being overweight and felt superior to you because of it. My uncle family never had a weight problem and felt they were better than me. When I lost the weight it pissed them off and I saw the change in them. Before I was the fat cousin everyone teased. My uncle wife didn’t like people saying how pretty I was, I learned later she was and still is very competitive. I guess she didn’t like everyone noticing me instead of her daughters. My mom didn’t tolerate any mistreatment towards me, so we kept our distance from them. We moved away shortly after not just because of them but my mom wanted us in a healthier environment than we were. I’m not saying turn your back on your family but sometimes you have to remove toxic people from your everyday life. Congratulations on the weight loss it’s never easy :slight_smile:.
     
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  4. I'mStillStanding

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    Well... I’ve already said I’m really doing it to get sexy. If I get healthy in the process, it’s a bonus! Hahahaha I’m actually not joking. That’s what I’ve said. Mom is more chill with the idea of trying to get healthy but doesn’t really want to do it. Which is disappointing her health is so bad. She needs to do something about her weight, but she won’t! My grandma on the other hand just wants to eat!

    I lose weight rather quickly normally. For a while anyway. Loose skin scares me so much! I’ve been researching non surgical options to be safe! Also losing my ass scares me but that’s another story!

    Thanks Destin! :slight_smile:

    @Beebee80 (is your name in reference to a character?) Way to go on your weight loss! Something you said, is actually what I wanted to say just didn’t. They aren’t happy with themselves so they don’t want anyone else to be. Literally my whole family is over weight, with the exception of my sister. She has always been thin so no one says anything about it. Even this past weekend, instead of saying, hey you’ve lost weight (I’m literally 2 sizes down) my brother pulled up a picture from 3 years ago and said, “look how skinny you use to be!” I said well I’m 10 pounds away from that now, and actually wore that outfit three days ago so I’m feeling ok where I am! He was shocked!
     
  5. Forlong

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    @I’mStillStanding my sisters gave me that name when I was just a baby, I asked when I got older where they got it. They couldn’t remember exactly just it came from a fictional character lol. I use to hate it because everyone would tease me about it make fun of me. Later in my teens I embrace it and the teasing stopped. What didn’t you say that you wanted to, and what about your sister who thin how does she feel about you losing weight?
     
  6. Dionysios

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    That's great! You have lost 100 lbs? Awesome job! While I have been thin all my life, my family members have not been so fortunate. My mom and siblings are overweight. They have a variety of health issues, diabetes, heart attacks, hyper tension, joint pain, etc... You my friend are being proactive about keeping yourself healthy. Pay no attention if your family is not as supportive. They mean well but would be wise to be inspired by your example. Keep up the good work! *smile* As they say, we all have only one body and we have to take care of it.
     
  7. I'mStillStanding

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    @Beebee80 see I read your name bb8.... I’m a star wars fan hahaha I didn’t say that they want me to stay over weight because they are. They’d rather us all be that way and unhappy than do something about it! My sister is pretty chill. She is always supportive no matter so. But she knows I’ve got horrible self esteem issues and that my weight has always been one of the key factors so I think she’s more excited than she’s letting on. She just doesn’t want to put pressure there.

    @Dionysios thanks :slight_smile: I’ve actually had blood pressure issues since I was like 14! Anxiety and weight key factors for sure. But once I get some more weight off I know the bp will sort itself out :slight_smile:
     
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  8. Dionysios

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    @Dionysios thanks :slight_smile: I’ve actually had blood pressure issues since I was like 14! Anxiety and weight key factors for sure. But once I get some more weight off I know the bp will sort itself out :slight_smile:[/QUOTE]

    Sadly, blood pressure is another of issue which often stems from being overweight. My mother and a couple of siblings also deal with that health concern as well. My sister had that and diabetes. She underwent gastric bypass, which ended both those health issues. Once you lose a few more pounds the blood pressure should come down too. Keep at it my friend! You'll be healthier and feel better.
     
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  9. Forlong

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    That’s great you’ll need her support if the rest of your never gets onboard. I’ve live in the south where a lot of things are deep fried in lard lol. So it’s a daily struggle to keep eating healthy around everyone. My grandma was so upset at first because she took pride in her cooking and I kept refusing. Eventually though she came around and often let me take over her kitchen. :slight_smile:. I don’t have diabetes or high BP but I do suffer from a lot of pain back, joints, knees because of my weight.
     
  10. I'mStillStanding

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    @Beebee80 I’m in the south too! So the fried food thing I totally get lol. I really eat what ever I want just really small amount hahaha! Also the back thing I get, I kinda broke mine in high school so I have issues at times. I love traction and dry needling for this it’s amazing!

    Update: so mom scheduled a physical therapist home care worker for herself who came out yesterday. She did good! And someone is going to be coming a few times a week to work with her. I’m very excited. Not only is this going to get her moving and doing some exercises, but the guy who’s gonna be coming is sexy! So it’s a win win! She did inform her nurse again today I’m starving myself which is like gtfo with that, but she also has schedule an appointment with a weight loss surgery doctor. Her doctor has been wanting her to do this (I don’t I want her to diet and exercise) because she’s so over weight. So fingers crossed she’s having a change of heart.

    I’ve finally started back walking. I love it! It’s so great to power walk! I’m also working on getting some workouts I can do from home to add in more intensity as well so I’m getting exciting :slight_smile:
     
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  11. Forlong

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    @I’mStillStanding That’s really great your mom is getting help and the both of you together can probably make a difference in your family life. I tried for years to get my husband to lose weight and get on a healthier lifestyle but always refused. Now in our late thirties it’s harder to get the weight off and he seeing the years of not taking care of our bodies. If I get invited to one more crawfish boil I’m going to barf, I have grown to not like it eating it much anymore.

    Lol try to stay focused and don’t do anything to drastic with the hotttt therapist around :slight_smile:. I love the high I get from working out even if the scale doesn’t change :slight_smile:.
     
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  12. I'mStillStanding

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    Picture 1

    Well, I’ve actually got to where I was before coming out. So the final 10 lbs I’d gain back are gone. This week I’m gonna add in some more intense training in addition to the walking. I’ve debated whether or not to upload the photo to show my progress. But decided to go ahead and do it. I’m so happy to see how far I’ve come. I’m even happier to have this on my phone so the days I’m feeling I look huge I can pull it up and remind myself of how far I’ve come. I’m half way there! :slight_smile:

    @Beebee80 her therapist is so soooo cute!
     
    #12 I'mStillStanding, Jan 28, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2019
  13. Dionysios

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    You look awesome!!! Congrats on your weight loss. So inspiring to others!
     
  14. Destin

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    That progress is really great! You'll definitely be able to reach your goal.

    Also as a complete sidenote, in that newer picture, your eyes are a really great color - they're so striking and mesmerizing.
     
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  15. Rade

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    Well I'mstillstanding

    I am so pleased for you, you look incredible, I'm sure the guys will be coming your way for sure!!!
    I run 5 k about 3 or 4 times a week. It's more of a jog, it's reduced my 43 yr old tummy and people comment.
    Just keep going, it becomes very impowering for sure. I love exercise and it's also very good for mental health too.
     
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  16. I'mStillStanding

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    @Dionysios thanks :slight_smile: Inspiring is a big word lol but it’s funny you said that I messaged a very popular fitness guy who I read a profile on when I was about to come out. He talked about him coming out and during the process of accepting who he was realizing he was hiding behind his weight... his story was an inspiration for sure! I just had to thank him because he really is someone who I’ve kept up with I’ve the years.

    @Destin seeing the difference was a bit jarring lol, it is crazy to me. But I def think I’ll get there! It’s just a long process which gets frustrating, but seeing the difference was a good thing! I’m very critical of myself so that’s something I’m going to have to work on. My eyes are actually one of the only things I like on me! They change colors drastically, they go from the blueish to greenish color, golden browns, and dark brown! I’ve actually even asked my eye doctor in high school because everyone was always saying something about it be impossible and I must wear contacts... they had me freaked!

    @Rade thank you :slight_smile: Im actually trying to build back up to that! I enjoy jogging! I’ve got to add in some actually strength stuff though... I’ve been doing my research again to come up with my a work out plan I can do so that will start his week, in addition to the wall/jog!
     
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  17. Rade

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    Well I literally started by running a minute, then walk a minute. I'm now running 30 mins no break....5 k. I'm now looking at gym to build my skinny arms up and tone my reduced stomach. I then need to also look at diet, even though my diet isn't too bad.....
    You have got beautiful eyes, losing weight I'm sure has helped and probably helped your eye health so they shine....just keep going bit by bit. The jogging kills me sometimes but we all must push forward.
     
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  18. Calf

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    And it's working
    Do you think that's the problem that your family have though? It's quite common for family to say "I accept your sexuality" but under the condition that you don't actually act on it by having a same sex partner.
    So long as you stay single and don't display an effort to attract potential partners, your family can go on pretending you're just a "normal" guy with a quirky, lovable personality and bachelor lifestyle.
    As soon as you start making the slightest effort to be "sexy" they can only thing about two things.
    1) "what will people think when they see you with a man?! And how does that impact on their impression of me"
    2) "anal sex!!! " - for some reason, too many straight people are obsessed with gay male anal sex. It is all they can think about when they see two men kiss or hold hands or put wallpaper up together. It's a strange truth that we just have to accept.

    Anyway the fact stands that while they sit around gossiping and obsessing about it, we're the ones having all the fun doing it. You shouldn't feel guilty about aiming for a bit of happiness in life, especially if it involves raising your own self confidence, improving your health and being an inspiration to others to do the same. Absolutely nobody is getting hurt in the process and if anyone gets offended it's through their own choice.
     
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  19. I'mStillStanding

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    Omg! I’ve not considered that at all! But you definitely make a valid point. I’ve not introduce my family to any friends (I mean friends as in friends not lovers) because the one I did they were not very nice about. He is a great guy. Sweet, funny, sexy! But he’s in shape, and really takes care of himself. The only gay guys they seem to ever be cool with are the “non-threatening” ones. Like teddy bears, super religious and denounce all things that are the “gay lifestyle”, live forever away, etc. Oh my god! Well something to unpack with my therapist for sure. My weight has always been a barrier for me... a way to keep people (men) away after the childhood abuse and then trying to hide from my sexuality. I just never considered my low self esteem and weight a chains someone (especially family) else would use to keep me isolated...

    And to the part you quoted :slight_smile: thanks! I’m getting there... sounds very cocky and I’m ok with that hahaha
     
  20. Forlong

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    You look amazing and love your beautiful eyes, lol did you enjoy the view of your moms therapist. Yes I keep loads of old pictures of myself on my phone to remind me on days I feel like I haven’t made any progress. It’s hard to see when you look in the mirror every day at yourself. I just started going to the gym today and packed my lunch and snacks for work tomorrow. If I can get through a month of doing that I can that be great lol :slight_smile:.
    Keep it up you’re doing great :slight_smile:
     
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