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unsure and unhappy

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by androgynousdog, Jan 7, 2019.

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  1. Mihael

    Mihael
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    Well, only you can know what the real reason is.

    On one hand, it's possible that your orientation really changed. Not at will, but some bisexuals experiemce it. In which case, as scary as it is as a new thing and a change, I assure you that dating men is just like dating anyone else and it's not bad at all. And even if your feelings for women would seem pale, they existed in their own right and what you experienced was genuine. Heck, some people's sexual feelings change over lifetime and if you are straight now doesn't mean you were not gay before.

    As for being gender non conforming, that isn't a problem if you're straight. There are lots of guys who would love you for who you are. If that was the reason why you looked into being into women first, lots of people feel the same way, the mainstream makes a lot of gnc people feel like they cannot be straight, because they don't fit into gender stereotypes that are the only way to be attractive and experience love. Which is BS. But it doesn't feel like this especially when we are young. So don't feel like you it must have been that you wanted to be gay or something like that, it is not unheard of that someone gets emotionally conditioned into something like that.

    On the other hand, there is the very real possibility that was mentioned by someone else, that you are having sexual problems because of attatchment issues, the heartbreaks. That is very possible.

    Anyway, don't feel guilty for what you are experiencing. No matter the reason. Whether it's a shift in attractions, emotional conditioning, heartbreaks or anything else. We don't have influence on things like that.
     
    #21 Mihael, Jan 18, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2019
  2. androgynousdog

    androgynousdog
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    thank you. this was a very insightful and dedicated response. youre right. theres. literally nothing to be done. it just is.
     
    #22 androgynousdog, Jan 18, 2019
  3. androgynousdog

    androgynousdog
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    tht being said tho. i would love to be able to kiss a woman i loved and feel those butterflies and the things everyone else describes. i would love to have that scarlet lust and want to make love to her, feel equally aroused and make her a happy woman. i rly wish i could. which. sounds pretty fucking gay hahaha. i get this sort of warm feeling when i see my loved one smile, or imagine kissing her cheek. its like honey warming up and drawing me to her. aw jeez. i generally dont find women as attractive as i do men, or at all really. i dunno. yall r rite and rly this should be taken as is. i rly dont wanna be straight essentially. i wish i could love a woman too. despite all the ramifications.
     
    #23 androgynousdog, Jan 20, 2019
  4. androgynousdog

    androgynousdog
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    also--ive noticed something interesting. all of my thoughts around men either revolve around friendship or an uncomfortable sexual thoughts--like oh man i feel this sort of nervousness and excitement so i guess i like him. i think ultimately they may be more fear based ideas than real romantic and affection based. (not to say that i wouldnt enjoy romance and/or intimacy with a man--im open to it). i suppose i just wish that i wouldnt be ONLY limited to men. ive been thinking about it more in the past couple of days with a clearer head--and i would love to be pansexual/bisexual with a preference for women. ultimately only time and relationships can tell--like yall have been saying, but i sincerely hope i can eventually feel both sexual and romantic feelings for a person regardless of gender.
     
    #24 androgynousdog, Jan 21, 2019
    sjax0628 and Unsure77 like this.
  5. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    Hope you’re doing okay and feeling better.
     
    #25 Love4Ever, Jan 31, 2019
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