The other day my wife and I were talking about our eventual separation and divorce. During our conversation about life together, she grew curious and asked me if I ever had dreams about her and I having sex. I thought about it and admitted that while she was in many of my dreams, during all the years we were married I never once dreamt about having sex with her or any other woman. Instead I did recall several dreams about having sex with men. As I reflected on that, I realized that while I was trying to live a straight life, my true orientation could not be hidden. It was revealed in my dreams. Did anyone else, while closeted, have similar dreams about their true sexual orientation?
Yes, all romantic or sexual dreams that I have been able to recall throughout my entire life thus far have always included another guy. Some of them I was very frustrated to wake up from, lol.
yeah. now that im moving towards heterosexuality im constantly having dreams about sex with men, and even enjoying some of them. i wouldnt say its always an indicator of true orientation--but that being said its definitely worth considering.
Dreams occur when you are asleep. That is different than having daytime fantasies. I have lots of fantasies, but I control them. I have no control over my dreams.
I see. I rarely have sex dreams, when I do they are usually weird and don't seem to connect to anything in real life...
Sexual orientation? No. Gender? Well, maybe. One time as a young teen, I had a dream that I was developing breasts. In the dream, I was still a boy, and the buds were normal for boys that age.
Most of the time, they are about women. Now there have been exceptions, like two nights ago where I had straight-ish dreams which made no sense.
You can have all sorts of weird stuff in uncontrolled dreams one theory is that it's your brain 'processing' and sometimes providing 'answers' but the brain doesn't speak an verbal language so it uses symbols and metaphor... it might (this is just my opinion) be like the metaphors we use so when we say 'we're fucked' we really don't mean that its a sexual way of describing something else.. So personally I would not put too much meaning into that - sometimes people have dreams of incest doesn't mean they want to do that or its who they are...
They probably are metaphors for something. I mean, the first one was about me and some Buddhist monk, which meant no sense, since I knew in my dream I'm gay and he is a monk, but somehow he seemed fine just doing certain things, then left as if nothing had happened. The second dream made even less sense, because it was about me, saving a nearly-dead fish, which then turned into a man I knew and we cuddled and kissed for no reason. And I still knew I was gay, yet my mind was having a blast, it thought it was too funny apparently. Everyone had their pants on all the time. I remember saying in my dream "As long as I don't know they have a penis and don't have to deal with it, things are good". Like what??? xD On a sidenote. I was having my period, so my hormones were naturally all over the place. For some reason, it's the only time I might think of men as anything beyond friends. Curiously, it doesn't last beyond say, a few hours.
The most frequent symbolic things are animals - there are a lot of online dream interpretation , some jungian stuff (theory that it's deeply rooted in our collective unconscious) Just about every culture has animals representing some human trait- a lion for courage, dogs for loyalty...
OMG! Thanks for posting that article.. it helped me with so much confusion! From the article (i know she's writing as a lesbian and I am gay guy ): “I wasn’t turned on. At all. But—” I paused dramatically. “I was comforted. By the erection! By the fact that I was certain I was turning him on. By how easy it was to get validation.” “Huh. Does that mean you feel insecure sometimes in your relationship? Like maybe deep down you fear you don’t turn your partner on?” I sat with that for a minute. It was heavy. A hard pill to swallow. I mulled over it slowly, like it was an expensive glass of red wine, for the next hour. As I peeled back the layers of my bizarre dream, I began to fully understand what it meant. My physical and mental attraction toward women is primal. The sex I have with women isn’t as simple as garnering validation that “I’m pretty” or “sexy” from her. Sex with women renders me vulnerable. I give a piece of myself. I share something pretty f*cking sacred with a woman when we’re having sex. And sometimes that feels scary. It’s scary because sex and love are all intertwined for me when it comes to women. Wow...I now understand the difference between my attraction to men and women - I was trying to get validation from women with men I want the intimacy of giving myself...
