I feel really guilty, I have built quite the great life so far but now understanding more about my sexuality I feel like I don't want any of it anymore. I honestly feel like I don't like my kids, cats etc...anything that requires my time and effort I guess. I feel really guilty. I have a newborn son who I wanted so badly but now I feel like I don't want anything to do with him. Maybe it's because as horrible as it sounds; I'm excited at exploring this new side of me and just want to run away... I was so grateful for my life before, now everything looks so strange and distant.
Hey, These feelings must be really difficult for you. You say that you have a newborn...have you considered pnd?
This sound like far more than just a question of sexuality. Depression is a real thing and needs to be treated as such. A component could be your sexuality but it could be so much more. I urge you to speak with a professional. Wish you the best.
I tend to feel like this when the lesbian side of me takes over. It's really confusing. Otherwise I'm happy go lucky with my kids and husband (attracted to him, thinking of our future). When these thoughts take over I feel like I want to ditch this life even without having a newborn.
I can very much relate to your feelings. My depression used to seemingly coincide with feeling gay. Then they both would fade and it seemed like “normal” again. The feelings of not wanting my family or children would also be there during these waves. That hasn’t been the case this season. I have made changes in my life this past year which I’m sure has had an impact on that. I have an almost twelve year old daughter and seven year old daughter. My wife and I sat them down on Sunday where I came out to them and also let them know we were separating. I am going to post about all this later. I hope you find what you need. We’re all here on EC to help support each other!
I am sorry to hear that... I can relate to wanting to just leave it all. Over time I’ve tried to separate my feelings for my husband from my feelings toward my kids (and my job, etc.). Having alone time with my kids without my husband was helpful, and I found I actually was more present for them. I agree with seeing a therapist and also exploring the depression angle. You have several things going on at the same time, all very stressful, that wanting to just run away is not an unusual response. But I think it would help to talk to someone to help sort it all out. Journaling also helps me to sort through things like this, more so than just thinking about it all.
