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Fellow Bisexuals ?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by WildcatVa, Jan 6, 2019.

  1. WildcatVa

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    I’d like to chat with some bisexual peeps below.
    I’m feeling a bit lonely when it comes to my sexuality (I don’t know any bisexuals irl) and though I’m comfortable, sometimes my subconcious still gets the “pick a side” thoughts from time to time :/
     
  2. Shorthaul

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    Hello

    It is hard to find other bi people to talk to.
     
  3. Chiroptera

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  4. Pret Allez

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    The only side to pick is all of them. You should consider polyamory too.
     
  5. Fishtail

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    Yoi, what you want to write/chat about dude?
    Are you feeling lonely cuz there are no LGBTclub or meetups close where you live?
     
    #5 Fishtail, Jan 6, 2019
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  6. Brandy Bee

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    Exactly! I pick sides all the time: I have hetero intimacy when I'm with my wife; I have gay intimacy when I'm with my boyfriend!
    But admittedly, I'm very lucky to be in the relationships I am, with all of us so understanding.
     
  7. WildcatVa

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    Hey, thank you all for the replies
    Actually that’s one of the reasons yeah, although my area is pretty lgbt friendly, I don’t see any of those around here.
    Another reason would be that, I guess it kinda goes with what you said, with no one with the same tastes as me I feel, like, not valid if that makes sense :/
     
  8. WildcatVa

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    Polyamory ? I’ve been thinking about it, but I’m a bit unsure, it would be quite new for me, but I like the idea, could you please tell me in more detail what is it like ?
     
  9. WildcatVa

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    Hello! Hi
    Yeah that much is true :/
     
  10. Mihael

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    Hi there
     
  11. Fishtail

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    So is there not any LGBT meetups or do you just prefer a Bisexual only group?
    Then why not start one youself online, like 'If something don't exist, make it yourself'
    cuz surely you can't be the Bi who feels lonely in you townarea, no?
     
    #11 Fishtail, Jan 7, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  12. Brandy Bee

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    Sure, be glad to!
    The iteration of polyamory that my wife and I practice is quite simple: it's a different and selfless way of looking at the love we are capable of feeling in a broader context.
    My wife and I have been together since we were late teenagers, she had just turned 19; I was 18.
    We fell in love and at 42 years old today, we are still in love, although that love has grown, changed, been challenged, but we weathered our storms and we love and raise our kids together in the same house, as a married couple to this day.
    When I confessed my infidelity to her regarding an affair I had with a woman (long over now), she did not ask for a divorce but deserved to know why.
    She was already fully aware of my bisexuality and my past history with men, and has always been fully supportive and understanding.
    What came from this was that the affair with the woman was a mistake: it would do nothing to make my life any better in the long term, and that my wife and I simply needed to reconnect as we were in a stage of changing marriage stressed by our new roles as parents, and lack of freedom to explore and express ourselves in a very real sense. I told her that monogamy was simply not for me, in fact, I questioned why she had never thought about being with other people as we got together so young.
    She reflected and realized that she was interested in being with other people more intimately, women and men alike.
    We came to realize that the notion of lifelong monogamy feels unnatural for us: indeed, it is an archaic device meant to hold patriarchal marriages together for the sake of economic security for the wife and children, as much as anything else.
    So we set out exploring this new marriage definition, and it just felt right. We do have some boundaries: for example, we mutually have a "first right to refusal" in terms of one of us dating someone else, our marriage is always first. We also demand absolute honesty with one another, in terms of where we're going and with whom, for what purpose, to what extent was intimacy experienced, and a requirement to be as honest with the other partners in our life.
    Further, asked of me that I do not date other women without her there, as it simply hurts her and brings back her terrible feelings of betrayal and inadequacy if I am alone sexually or romantically with another woman. Fun fact: in our experience to date, I have had NO desire to have any other women, what DID come from it was that when I cheated, it wasn't because I craved another woman; I AM the other woman!
    That was part of how I realized that I'm transgender.
    I have, on the other hand, no qualms about her being with other men apart from me (although she only has done so once, they didn't work out), as long as she's honest about whether or not she is doing it for a new infatuation, friends with benefits, or something more romantically charged.
    If she was to fall in love with another man? Well, at least I didn't hold her back using our marriage to hide something necessary, and deprive her of pursuing happiness as she alone defines for herself.
    So now, I have one boyfriend only (and we are falling for each other), my wife is aware and still fully supportive.
    At the end of the day, I still go home to her and our life together.
     
  13. Lexa

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    Following this topic (interested in info concerning bisexuality - polyamory).
     
  14. WildcatVa

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    That's so sweet of your wife! you're very lucky to have her
    I have to say, your story made me think, and I now believe that Polyamory would be definitely worth trying. I think being with both sexes at once (and perhaps even being in similar non-conformist relationships) would help me when it comes to being comfortable with myself.
    I'll try Polyamory out as soon as I get the chance. Thank you so much for your answer~
     
  15. whistle1

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    It can seem like bisexuals are the forgotten part of the LGBT community. Where I am, there are plenty of groups/events catering to gay or lesbian folks, but virtually none for bisexuals.

    As far as not feeling "valid", I understand what you're saying. It is always easier to feel comfortable with your position if you see a lot of other people with the same one. My personal opinion is that a person's feelings/attractions are what they are. They are neither "right" nor "wrong".
     
  16. Cortnee

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    Hello!
     
  17. searchin

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    Omg, other bi people yeah I feel odd too and wish there were more local people to talk to.
     
  18. Shorthaul

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    Have you tried being a nerd in a state that is mainly for outdoor loving extroverts?

    The outdoors is cool, but I would like to play some D&D or Pathfinder or Exalted
     
  19. Ruby Dragon

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    Hello there!

    I totally get how you feel. Like you, I sometimes get those thoughts of, "Just pick a side already!"
    I also don't feel "legit" and like I don't fit into the LGBT Community, even though there's a B in LGBT. I feel fake. I feel like I want to fit into the community whilst keeping my "straight" life on the side. It sucks.

    But I don't want to be straight. I actually wish to be fully gay (lesbian), because that way my dating pool is more "defined" if that makes sense? I don't know why I feel that way though, because I'm primarily attracted to men. Go figure! I don't know if it's just because that's all I know/have experience in. I've had two girlfriends, but neither were serious (no sex) but I guess the last one (2012) was a bit more serious than the first, because we actually kissed. The first girl I dated and I only hugged and cuddled (It was a high school romance). Both of them cheated on me with guys, so guess I was just an experiment to them??? I'd rather be fully gay than straight though, even with my bad experiences. Right now I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle because I can go either way... I don't like to be "in the middle" :frowning2:
     
  20. WildcatVa

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    You know some time ago I used to think Exactly like that.
    I wished to be either fully straight or fully gay instead of “being both”
    Because I was mostly into other guys but I knew I wasn’t gay because I still had a thing for girls :/