scared to tell my family

Telling family (especially parents) is the toughest part of coming out. Maybe, if you don't already know, find out what they're general feelings are on LGBT people in general, through casual conversation. That could give you some idea on how they might react. I, personally am not out to my family. For me, sharing my emotions in general is tough. I've always felt that I would tell them when I was in a relationship with someone of the same sex and ready to introduce them.

 

Like @Mikey D said, it is particularly hard to tell parents. And so you tell friends first, which just makes you think your parents will feel like "second best." So you feel even more hesitant, etc etc. A little tip: It's better to say how you feel ("I like girls") or what you do ("I am dating so-and-so") than what you are ("I am gay/bi/flexible/undecided.") Because nouns/labels just make you seem like a "thing", and moreover something that can't change. Then you get to start worrying "What if I'm wrong?" which is just another spiral of doubt.

And to echo @Mikey D again, it might work to wait until you actually have a girlfriend, because then you have something concrete to say. But of course, you don't know when that will happen anyway.

Read up on older threads here on EC, like in this sub-forum and the Coming Out one. You will find you are so not alone.

 

My parents were extremely homophobic before I came out. When I told them, it's like they made a 360. I assumed the worst, like we always seem to. I think that maybe if your parents are already supportive and accepting, then there could be a possibility you'll let them know and they'll raise up a pride flag high to the sky. You never know unless you try.

 

Let me chime in with my quick story I knew I was Bi since middle school hid it for years I'm 29 now just recently came out to my mom she accepted me and so proud I had the courage to come out I kept apologizing saying I'm sorry she said don't be sorry everyone comes out on there own time.

 

its a very scary thing--but if you feel it is right then by all means. please do it. it can be a weight off your shoulders. be sure you have a support system just in case. but if your parents are accepting--thats a great sign. if your relationship is good this show of trust can only strengthen the bond. best of luck to you op. youre very brave.

 

Hey I’m right there with you. I’m also a bi girl and I haven’t told my parents either, but luckily friends have all been supportive.

My parents don’t “hate” gay people, but they don’t really know many or understand us. My mom is religious but not extremely so, but I know what you mean when you say it’s different when it’s their own daughter. From what I know of my parents, that’s how they’ll be too. They don’t want a gay child, I know they don’t.

Just don’t feel pressured to tell them before you have to. I’m hoping I’ll get to some day and that they’ll eventually come around, but it is daunting for sure. I hope you get to tell yours too. A couple of my gay friends have parents who they never doubted would be supportive and I can’t even imagine how amazing that must feel.

 

Great advice!