I'm a gay guy and I like kissing guys. I believe its a part of intimacy. Why are some guys against it? Are they not yet comfortable with their sexuality? I'm new to this....just wondered what others think?
I think it comes down to personal preferences, as with (perhaps all) other aspects of sexual intimacy.
Yeah, most of the time guys who are new to coming out will be completely against kissing. Mainly because in our culture kissing is a very sensual activity. Its done usually with passion and a lot of the times to show romance. For many guys coming out, its just too much like "truly being gay" so they just don't do it. Its easier to separate "this is just sex" if you don't kiss. I was that way when I first started coming out. I gave a blowjob before I kissed a guy because in my head it was "less gay". Oh, the things we tell ourselves
That makes sense! A guy I might meet soon has asked for me to be discreet. He doesn't do kissing but sent me graphic nude pictures which I don't want to see on my phone!! Would rather discover them in a romantic way lol....he asked me to send pics I said no and I never would....hes 27 and I'm sure he's not fully comfortable with his sexuality. Perhaps if I meet him a few times, he might enjoy kissing. His all up to meet one day and not the next. His struggling....
I have a biking buddy who is bisexual. Sometimes we've fooled around and done oral sex. But, he doesn't kiss. I'm not 100% sure he's bi. I think he might see kissing as meaning he is gay so he only kisses women. Me. I kiss and prefer it to everything else m2m that I do. So, in that respect, maybe it is more intimate for some guys and they save it for only special guys? We each feel things differently. My wife saw me kissing guys as an OK thing to do when I first came out yet I feel so much more with that than with intercourse which was off the table.
Couple things... the guys who don’t want to kiss tend to not be the best kissers and need a little coaching so be prepared haha. I know it’s been said, but it’s all about the toxic masculinity and what it means to kiss. And it’s not just kissing within the romantic area, but also a platonic sense. I know people who have trouble with even little kisses on the checks between family. It’s wierd. My family has always done that! Like always, so when I hear people say something about it I’m taken back. I enjoy kissing guys and have since I’ve came out! I think I’ve kissed everybody I’ve hung out with actually... it’s not a deal breaker if the person says they don’t kiss, I just try and let them know why I really, really like it and see if that is encouragement enough. But, kissing is an intimate thing. I think I’d have a harder time seeing a guy I’m with kissing another guy than other things honestly.
Gosh...can't understand that! I've discovered that my gay self loves to kiss and even the thought of kissing a woman is lush if I fancy her ;-). But you are right it's super intimate - and so expressive I might add - so maybe some people don't want that.
I guess the reverse is the case for some gay women coming out though. ie. rough and physical desires are unacceptable for "good girls"......what a crock of s***e we are fed, frankly, whether male or female.
Kissing is sensual. It is ashame not to engage in it. At first I was a little hesitant due to the old heteronormative prejudices but quickly got over it. M2M sensuality rocks me.
I agree with the first commenter - some guys don't like to kiss - period. Some guys (as others have stated) don't want to kiss another guy because that will somehow confirm that they are bi/gay...
I think I wouldn't be able to help myself laughing at anyone who told me this, guy or girl, lol. I mean, whatever floats your boat. But I would still laugh, a lot.
My take, without the benefit of any recent M2M kissing, is that kissing is more honest and emotionally vulnerable than most anything else because you're face-to-face with all your facial expressions and emotions in full view. There's no hiding. Ok, for another point of view, years ago a guy moved in for what I thought was going to be a nice kiss, but he immediately shoved his tongue into my mouth. There was no honestly, sensitivity, or emotional connection in that!
Perhaps I shouldn't meet this guy!!!! .... After all, the other two guys I met recently on a hookup (not a threesome)!! Both enjoyed kissing with me, to me it's natural and a good starting place, before you get carried away!!! Though he may change his mind and love it!!
I think especially amongst guys who are newly or not quite out they don't kiss for the same reason hookers don't kiss. It risks elevating what's going on out of the realm of merely physical/sexual. I can't say I've ever encountered it, but I feel pretty confident that in all my dating I never dated anyone who was newly or not quite out.
I can only speak for me, but kissing is incredible intimate. I’m married and bi, but not acting on my MM desires outside of my marriage. That is not to say that I haven’t in the past, just that I’m not now. During my exploration into discovering and embracing my bisexuality I had experiences with gay, bi and straight guys. I’ve only kissed a handful of men in my life and it felt way more intimate than oral or even bottoming for someone. (Unless I was on my back in the receptive position, then the intimacy was ratcheted up). I almost had a relationship with 2 men in my life and kissed both of them. The first one kissed me. I was taken back at first, but when I gave into the kiss oh man! The passionate time we had. The other one tried and tried to kiss me and he wore me down. He was a good, but sloppy kisser. The unfortunate result of that kissing adventure was strep throat. So, I haven’t kissed a guy since. But, that is also that I’m remaining faithful in marriage 1st and foremost. I do want to re-wind one minute to point out (again, just my personal preference thing) that I’m a stickler for oral hygiene. If the person has bad teeth, bad breath, a grey or whiteish tongue there is no way I’m kissing them no matter how turned on I get. Maybe I’m different about this, but that goes for women as well. Bad oral hygiene isn’t gender related. I’ve met fastidious men and women when it comes to oral and general hygiene. I have also met both that don’t place such a high priority on that as well. I am currently in a relationship where kissing isn’t a big part of our co-existing. I miss it a lot, and hope that someday should my situation change I find a partner that enjoys it and the passion and intimacy that it brings between two people.
My goodness, I didn't realize that kissing was an issue for some guys. Really? When I dated girls it was never an issue kissing a daye. Why would that be different for two guys? Besides, I've dealt with people from the Middle East and Greece for years. It is not uncommon for guys in that culture, straight men, to kiss on the cheeks. Kissing seems natural to me. Especially so during a romantic encounter. *smile* I wouldn't feel an emotional or romantic connection to a guy who wouldn't want to kiss me back. Like a disappointed fusherman, I would throw the cold fish back into the ocean! *laugh*
