can you be a homosexual but not act on your feelings?

This sounds like a question for a 'queer muslim'. Either way, it sounds like you are asking if being celibate is ok. I guess that depends on you. It means that your religious beliefs mean more to you than your physical urges. That would work for some people, but not all. There are lots of Catholic priests in trouble over this one. I'd like to believe there is a happy medium that only a queer muslim would know about. Maybe a different branch of Islam that supports gay muslims?

 

Okay, a few things first, they don't "want" to be a homosexual/gay, they ARE homosexual/gay, you don't get to pick to be attracted to men or women, you do get to pick to act upon those feelings or not. If they are gay but are abstaining from acting on it (entirely possible) they are still following the preaching of what they are being taught, is that hard mentally? I am very sure it is, they know their feelings aren't in accordance with their beliefs even though they don't act on it, it's a hard thing to accept and deal with, and yes having to abstain from being who you are and from doing something you really want to do is hard.

You can have a look at the later in life section, it will give you lots of insight about how people who had lived closeted for decades due to either religion or society have dealt with it and the outcome, you will notice that a lot did live an heternormative life for decades until they couldn't do it and some are still making the choices to stick to an heteronormative mariage despite knowing they are gay. People deal with it in different ways. Usually people who embrace their sexuality do seem to live a much more fulfilling and slightly more stress-free life though.

If you are questionning and having a hard time due to your religion, you might want to keep in mind that religious scriptures, just like any books are subjected to interpretations, and very often MIS-interpretations as well as loss in translations.

You can definitely live a celibate life and find joy and happiness in it though.

 

Of course you can live your life as a celibate and never act on your sexuality gay or straight. My brother in law has never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter). He's nearly sixty. So, he has figured out some way to live his life without sex or romance.

I found it very difficult, as a bisexual, to not be able to practice my full sexuality and be intimate with both men and women even though I did put aside the same sex part of my sexuality, for societal and relationship reasons for decades.

I think it depends on the person. For some of us it is unhealthy and not fulfilling. For others it is less important.

 

I think that's a very hard question to answer and how damaging it would be will depend on the reasons that it is 'put aside' and how.
If they were to accept their gay, not desire a relationship and be celibate because they want to be then they probably wouldn't struggle. However, if they are doing it to suppress their gay feelings it probably won't help and will probably make it worse.

I am from a catholic household and I find it very hard to leave my sexual orientation and gender at the front door. That is not because I haven't accepted it, but because I am not telling people for the wrong reasons.

 

Sex is a very core part of many humans, aswell as emotional relationships. Abstaining from sex can really mess someone up and it can manifest in really bad ways down the line.

Like let's say that this closeted gay guy has a wife in the future and she loves you. Since that person is attached to one gender, he can't really be pleased during sex, so he goes after things on the side in order to fulfill that part of his life aka cheating.

That can be a horrible experience

 

I personally would find that really hard. I'll be honest; in my younger days I joined a website for Christians that was along the lines of reparative therapy. One day I got curious and went back, a few people had left these groups completely and went to live their happy gay lives. I identify as some kind of bisexual and would find it really hard to not act on my sexual feelings for men and can't imagine not ever acting on them.

 

As a person who has gone through conversion therapy to get rid of the gay, I can say it can be done but mentally and physically it has a lot of repercussions. You're not living your life as your true self. It's basically putting a mask on for halloween and never being able to take it off ever. For awhile it can be okay, but at some point you are going to want to take the mask off and just breathe.

I was able to semi-successfully wear the mask for 30 yrs with only a few minor deviations where I would peak around the mask so to speak. I did this for forced religion and by a narcissistic religious fanatic of a mother. I don't see a case where anyone would knowingly and willing hide it away. They may do so and say they want to but in your example it seems the religion is the real reason right?

My two cents from my experience is that it doesn't work. At some point the mask will come off and the mental anguish of years lost and living under false pretenses builds up to become its own power force. As for the sexual aspect, I was able to have the mandated sex with my spouse but after awhile it felt forced and then it eventually felt similar to rape because though it was outwardly consensual, inwardly I wanted to yell NO, STOP but couldn't because of all the guilt and shame.

I actually surprised I am as well-adjusted as I am knowing my life. But yet here I am 40something and still haven't cut the cord and started living without a mask and in my own skin completely.