No Mom, I'm not going to hell. And guess what - nobody asked you.

Hey everybody, first of all, thanks to everyone willing to share their stories of religious trauma. My mother decided to get a job working for Pat Robertson (the TV evangelist) in the mid 80s, so needless to say, the 700 Club and similar religious programming was on pretty much 24-7. I've been out of the closet since I was in my late teens, yet my mother STILL feels the need to remind me I'm going to hell - 30 years later! And this Christmas was no different. True to form she was up to her old antics. Religious trauma is real, folks. My girlfriend goes through something similar with her parents who are Mormon. She left the church about 4 years ago, but they can't seem to accept who she is now.

 

Totally get you, my ultra Catholic mom tells me all the time that "the gays are going to hell." I'm already going to hell since I don't go to church anymore. Makes me so willing to come out to her. Not

 

Same situation here. My parents are strictly religious, Apostolic/Pentecostal people. They’ll never change their perspective. I know that.

As soon as I come out to them, it’ll be torches and pitchforks for me. Yay!

They already trash talk my gay cousin (who I absolutely love to death), which kills me. But, what can I do besides sit in silence and take the abuse? If I come out, they’ll kick me to the curb.

Ugh. Religion is important to some people because it gives their lives meaning when they see no other way. But, when it tears people down like this, it’s awful.

 

Thanks for your comment! Coming out can be really scary to those we already know are unaccepting. Ugh. I wish you the best of luck with that. I actually haven't talked to my mother since the hell comment (but I felt the need to vent about it on my latest podcast [hell yeah I did])! I plan on calling her this week I guess. Obligation is hard to shrug for those of us raised Christian, isn't it?

 

I'm against any religion that points fingers and damns people to hell. It's not right. Who are they to cast the first stone??? I totally understand the fear of coming out to zealots. I've had to deal with my mother for ages. If you decide to come out, let me know. You have support here, Jude. Good luck to you!!

 

I get an odd one, so my mom and stepdad are fine with it, and the Presbyterian church which I was born into says that being gay is fine, but here's the kicker, you can't actually be gay

 

I'm so glad you came to EC! We need a lot more people here who have survived and found happiness. I tend to remind my mum about the 'tongue' sin which will get her to hell faster than me.

 

@jacobsweat, what do you mean you can't actually be gay? Do they think we're faking???

 

@weary, what's the "tongue sin?"

 

There are several passages in the bible about how what you say can be a sin - judging others, gossip, deceitful or evil tongue, unwholesome talk, the perverse tongue, what comes out of the mouth defiles the person, and so on. Proverbs is full of wisdom of the tongue. In our family we refer to the passages as 'tongue sins'. My favorite to tell her is James 1:26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

 

My uncle by marriage is stuck on the whole ‘gays are going to hell’. He doesn’t know I’m gay. The rest of my relatives are fine with gay people and I’ve never heard them say gay people are going to hell. They were all raised Catholic. The aunt who is married to the homophobic uncle even asked to borrow my DVD of Brokeback Mountain but I’m not 100% sure she knows what it’s about. I haven’t attended church in years because I got tired of hearing all the reasons I could go to a hell I don’t believe in. Its also kind of strange to have several giant statues of a dead man nailed to a cross with a gaping wound in his side and telling young kids to pray to it.

 

pretty much, the gist is: we can't act on any attraction we might feel, so basically, we can't have gay sex or date someone from the same gender

 

You can wave a rainbow flag in his face.