My authentic self

Wow! That’s a huge. Congratulations and you’re right there is going to be a lot of emotion all at once, and the feeling of joy when you get to be you openly is going to out shine anything you’d have imagined. It’s going to be a big year and of course we will be here every step of the way. Good luck!

 

Congrats for making the decision to come out, it is not an easy one! Keep us updated on your journey.

 

1cgd like you came out in my 50s. It wasn’t the easiest thing I ever did but the best. Same situation lost the desire then the ability to be intimate with my then GF. I knew it was time to embrace my homosexuality honestly openly. Feel better than ever as a proud openly gay man facing whatever the future holds. Whatever it might be I will face it with my boyfriend. Love being gay.

 

Sure seems like a common theme- married and finally coming out in our 50s. I’m not sure why the age is so common. I like many others thought at the time I got married that I could shove the attractions to men down a dark hole and keep them there. Blew up on me. My advice to you 1cgd, is to take it slowly with making major decisions. My wife and I agreed to stay together when I came out 5 years ago. I’m glad we did.

 

I am convinced that once your same sex attraction surfaces it is very difficult if not impossible to ignore it. You might be able to bury it for awhile but it continues to brew just under the surface until it bubbles up into your everyday consciousness.it is then that it becomes increasing difficult not to act on it. For me I wish I had been able come to terms with my homosexuality from the earliest teen years rather then at 51. I know I would have been a happier person back then

 

You CAN do this, there are many people on this forum including me who will support you. You seemed clued up that it won't be easy. I spent the last 10 months coming out/moving out. It's been extremely tough, BUT when I had my first hookup a couple of weeks ago, after about 23 yrs, just to cuddle a guy was incredible. Yeah I might be financially skint but I have freedom and you will feel the same. I can't express enough the joy I feel to be free and able to live an authentic gay life, it's empowering....
Keep posting and people here will keep responding.
I would advise a counsellor and perhaps have a few sessions before you start your journey. I wish I had, I'm having the counselling towards the later stages but earlier is best....
Jon

 

I always say.....
That Saturday in February 2018. I sat at the top of the stairs in my old house. Wife a few steps below.....trying to tell her I'm gay...
I struck the match, then ignited the fuse, which lit the bomb. I stood back and watched it explode.....
I picked up the pieces of my life and put them back together BUT put them back in a DIFFERENT way..... empowering.....

 

Yes. The physical urges I could write off as lust. Someone here had a thought experiment - imagine coming home and kissing your lover- after all these years of suppression, I just let myself imagine coming home to a husband and kissing him -the whole 'straight' facade came crashing down.

 

As someone still fearing the explosion, this is inspiring.

Always hurts to think of it that way :/ It doesn't leave room for much denial.

 

This is so true. I love coming home to my BF kissing , cuddling with a glass of wine review the day with each other as we lounge on the couch.And then at end the end of day sharing the same bed is absolutely heaven. Never ever experienced that intensity and pleasure with a woman. Straight is way way overrated. lol

 

I feel sad to see gay people wasting their time for 20 to 30 years married to someone whom they do not truly love. While straight people get married to their true love and live happily ever after.

 

So so true. As I stated in an early post I wish I would have been able to accept my homosexuality as a teenager instead of in my 50s. Would have been much happier Gay from the start

 

I agree with your post, but I had some good years with my wife and 3 amazing children who seem ok with mum and dad being separated. I spent the day with them today. I'm grateful and blessed I had the opportunity to become a dad. I'm out to my eldest aged 13, she is totally cool with my sexuality.

 

Me too. I have no regrets because all I have gone through has brought me to where I am today. And the journey continues ...

 

My hat is off to you, @1cgd, with honor and respect! I hope you will proceed deliberately, but without rushing. Having made your declaration, things will fall in place. And I hope you will participate fully here on Empty Closets, posting frequently and fully. I think you are going to be an important member of this community.

Best wishes, with hugs, love and light,
=Sevn

 

Yeah, what the heck! Why are there so many of us having this happen at this stage in life? For myself, my children are nearing adulthood so the child-rearing part of my life is mostly behind me, career-minded I'm pretty much locked in, but I have this recognition that my life is finite, and I need to make the best of the remaining years ahead of me by setting things right NOW.

How about you -- why now?