Can’t figure out how to come out to accepting family and friends

Happy holidays

One of the biggest things to keep in mind is not all gay guys are the same. So it’s cool that your into those things, I was the kid who would build the Star Wars Leggo Millennium Falcon and then dress Luke in drag to fly it lol. God I wish that was a joke! So don’t stress about what you think you have to be as a gay man, just be yourself and the gay will come through lol.

You’re 20 which isn’t old at all, and your friends are still trying to find themselves trust me. Some of us didn’t accept our sexuality and come to terms with it till much later. I was just about to turn 28.

I found it easier to do one on one at first. And your right, each time gets a little easier. The nerves are still there. You just become more empowered about who you are and overcome them easier. Now the gay friend could be a great choice. I don’t imagine he’s gonna ask if you’re into him (I may be wrong). But he knows what your going through and could be a good sounding board through the process I came out to my gay uncle (right after my mom forced me to tell her) and it was nice having someone to talk with about it all.

 

Come out to that close person. It will help you feel a bit more relief and will encourage you to tell other people if you have someone that you know supports you and you can talk to that person about your problems. Burying your feelings for someone is a really shitty thing to do to yourself. Think about the bigger picture if you tell them about your feelings for them who will be affected or what will happen to your friendship. You have to see your situation and carefully decide which way will hurt less people. Those people also includes yourself. Don't destroy yourself over a partner.

 

Hey there! From what you’ve written I feel like you’re really ready come out but you just need to take that last huge jump. Don’t put to much pressure on yourself, do it when it feels right to you.

I totally get what you mean. Like you I would be considered a rather feminine girl and I don’t fit a lot of stereotypes straight people have about leabians. That’s why for the longest time I kind of didn’t fully get that I could actually be gay and that it has nothing to do with your looks or interests. I was also 20 when finally admitted to myself that I like girls and it felt so late to me compared to some other gay people around me. We just needed some more time and that’s ok, 20 is still young and at least now you’re more mature and coming out might be easier to handle than when you’re in your teens when everything feels more dramatic and adults don’t always take you serious.

Coming out is stressful and I get that opening up to people when you’re not used to talking about this kind of stuff is incredibly awkward, but it’s also really exciting and you’ll sometimes create closer bonds with people cause they’ll feel like now they have the space to open up about what they’re struggling with as well. I’d suggest telling people one by one or in small groups, that’s what worked best for me. The first person is a huge step but it’ll make everything feel more real, like there’s no going back and you just have to go on. Plus it’ll be so great to have one person by your side.

The gay guy seems like a good option if you think you’ll be able to handle it if it truly turns out he doesn’t like you that way. Either way, I wouldn’t expect him to ask you that at all but I don’t know him obviously.

Good luck!!!