Unstable and clingy online friend - should I cut contact?

If he is older than you, and still doesn't have his sh*t together, he needs help. At the very most, I'd tell him I was willing to stay friends, but tone down the drama, or I would end that too.

 

I would strongly advise you to report the concerning posts, where he talks about self harm and suicide to Facebook. Facebook has its flaws, but when it comes to issues like these they do have policies and procedures in place and you shouldn't be taking it all on yourself. Supporting and counselling people in crisis, without any training or back up is incredibly challenging (as you have discovered).

Report the posts of concern directly to Facebook, if only to satisfy yourself that you have done something to help and then block him to protect your own mental wellbeing.

Assuming he is in Scotland or the UK, you could also direct him to Samaritans - www.samaritans.org

 

while trying to be mindful about his mental health is nice of you, you also need to think of yourself too. i have had a friend like this in the past, and i had a good talk with them about how i didnt like them saying that stuff about themself, and how i thought they were being way too dramatic about things. unfortunately, they refused to change and i just had to stop being friends with them, because it was very emotionally draining feeling like i always had to be there in case they were going to do something irrational or dangerous.

this friend in the example, i realized was manipulating me to spend time with them instead of my other friends. probably the best thing you can do for him is try to get him to get help. if they dont want/dont take the help, that is their own problem.

 

You don't have any "duties" to assist him in dealing with his depression. Friendship is supposed to be a two-way benefit. When it is not, somebody needs to move on and end it.

I had a friend in high school who called me once to tell me he wanted to kill himself. I was shocked by the call, and spent some time on the phone with him to get him to calm down. A month or so later he did it again, and again I spent time with him on the phone calming him down. The third time he called, I told him to call 911. Within a year of all this he did kill himself. I felt sorry for him, but not responsible in any way. If his life was so miserable he had to end it, then maybe that was the better solution for him. Life is a challenge and not all people are up to it.