Racism in the LGBTQ+ community...

Weird. I’ve never heard of this.

 

Well as a trans woman, I've had people who want me as a fetish, but never heard of anything like what you're talking about.

Mandy

 

I haven't encountered it for a while. I think it's probably still out there but less socially acceptable--of course anything goes on the apps but I'm not on the apps. What comes to my mind is the term "rice queen" which was a guy who was not Asian who pretty much just dated Asian guys. I haven't heard the term in forever though...

 

For those who said
"I haven't heard of this."

Legit question:
Where are you from and do you often see a lot of PoC couples where you are from?

 

I mentioned this post to my husband. He initially couldn't even remember what a rice queen was. When I told him he was like "Oh that's right, wow, that's a blast from the past!" I know there was a term for white guys who only dated black guys, but neither of us could even remember what it was.

 

I'm from Oregon. We have a lot of racially mixed couples here. There is no detectable trace of racism here, nor any trace of trans/homophobia. Well, I guess there's a trace, but the very few times I've seen anyone show any prejudice of any type, just the general public in the immediate area drove the hater away (or in one case, thrashed them).

 

I don't get how race could be a fetish, but it takes all kinds. I'm a no-op transsexual woman, which means I'm all female, except for having male genitals. We get fetishized often, by people who like women, but also like male junk. Around here though, people are actually very up front and polite about their intentions, so it's really no different for me than being hit on by a man. I just tell them I'm not interested and they politely excuse themselves.

Mandy

 

Is this from your perspective on have you heard it from type friends of color. I'm only diggimg because it's not making sense that there's no little to no trace of racism around you.

 

Black men get fetishised by their penis size. Many other people of different racist are fetishised because someone wants to "try something different"

 

I have definitely seen races being fetishized before, especially black men. And yes i can say it definitely is very present in the lgbt, but the thing is, this is not specifically a lgbt issue.

People see Asian women, (specifically Japanese) to be innocent and fetishize them on that, people see black women and think they are powerfull (not saying they are not) and dominant, and fetishize them on that, this can even be compared to someone fetishizing goths for being dark, mysterious, and "bad" or viewing virgins as pure and wanting to corrupt them. (not the same thing, similar)

as for not wanting to date certain races, dont get me wrong, it can come off as rude but some people find appearances to be way more important than personality. personally, i dont care about race. but i can see why some people do. you cant exactly help who you are attracted to, if that makes sense. (i hope i dont sound rude)

I saw a video a while back about lgbt dating problems, and from a survey about gay dating (i dont know how accurate this is, keep in mind) and 80% of black men, 79 percent of Asian men, and 75 percent of south Asian men have been affected by either fetishization or racism when dating (who took the survey). it is a big issue, but im not sure what can be done to fix it. I guess... dont use dating apps?

Do i think it is bad? yes. but i can see why it happens.

 

well said on that last part, thats exactly my thoughts. i dont understand why someone can outright say "no blacks" when not all black people look the same, not all of them act the same, etc. thats the same with all other races. who people date is their personal choice, but i think people who say "no ___" are definitely at least a bit racist because they are lumping all people of a race into one type of look or behavior or stereotype.

 

I live in an extremely liberal and progressive college town, in a rather liberal state. We sometimes joke about there being a city ordinance against hate and bigotry here. This town is a Mecca for anyone who is any kind of "different," and the entire city rejoices in, and celebrates it's diversity with several large public events each year. The near absence of racism (and any other type of discrimination) is not something I hear about from anyone -- it's something I see, experience, and live, every day. There are other cities like this too -- maybe not quite so absolute as here, but essentially the same. And, I know, there are many more cities that are the antithesis of this. But the people of this town know for a fact, that society doesn't break down and crime run rampant, if you embrace all races, all religions, all sexualities and genders, and let pretty much anyone live there -- and people actually can and do get along. Pretty radical concept, huh? Too bad it's not contagious. The whole World should catch whatever we've got here. Anyway, it is possible.

Mandy

 

I am mixed race and it is definitely a thing. I have had more than a few occasions where people went on dates with me and it was very clear it had everything to do with my "race". It personally make me feel very uncomfortable because they reduce me to a bunch of stereotypes/clichés they have about my race, some might not even realise they do it and most don't realise it's problematic because they feel that since it's positives thoughts they have about people with my ethnic background then it can't be bad.

And I have only lived in big liberal cities.