Why me...why me....I've only been on this dating app a week....first guy backed out, second one was closeted and couldn't decide when to meet....AND then the worst.........no 3 He befriended me, incredibly good looking, we talked a bit on the app, then agreed to talk on a different platform. He then phoned me, said he'd come off the app and asked me to do the same. I thought he just insecure...But something rang alarm bells, because I couldn't in my head match up the picture with his voice... In the pics he looks slight mixed ethnic origin. BUT the guy on the phone spoke with a deep accent, I'm sure one of the African states........ Then to top it off today, long story but he asked for money....the end..... ....didn't send any.... God all I want is a hug, is it that friggin difficult....and then immediately after ex wife phone's wanting money.....told her she will have to wait. I'm now weary at the moment and feel like just get myself physically fit and forget I have any desires and feelings.... Jon.
@Rade, You have shown A LOT of courage lately in your life - I have much respect for you. Hugs, FooFight54
I was catfished too. It happens to a lot of people. You were at least sharp enough to catch on that it was a scam. Many people are so lonely, their common sense goes out the window. Get back out there - whether on an app or website - and keep looking...
I'm sorry you got catfished, but it does happen sadly. My best tip for when you're on apps is be overly critical of guys' pics. If someone's only sending one face pic or body pic, question why that would be or ask for more. If someone is using an app they can easily take quick selfies. If someone is sending pics that seem to good to believe, you can do reverse image searches. Take a screenshot and crop it so it is just the pic or save the pic if you can and then put it through a Google reverse image or similar. Typically guys who catifsh aren't too smart about it and don't realize that it's that easy to find the pic. They usually pull it from Tumblr or Pinterest or something similar. The more you use apps, the easier it is to tell who's really and who may be a little bit fishy.
Hey Sorry about this. Remember not to let this get to you. There are tons of scams out there and it is not a reflection on who you are. Have you tried any other methods to meet guys? The apps can be a pretty bad way to do that even though I have met all of my friends on them. It takes so much effort to get through the BS. I spent the weekend with a guy I met on an app. We compared our "message" history one evening. It was very educational. How we both had been hit up the same way by a lot of the same guys. He's 28 years younger than me and the same guys sent us both the same messages. Pretty lame. I'm sure some of them were scams of some sort.
I don't think I've ever heard of someone going beyond a hook-up (at best) from using an "app." You might want to try a more traditional dating website instead. The good news is you didn't get scammed.
Thank you for all your support and encouragement....it was awful but today was much better....... I'm gonna get an awful name for myself......god i confess my sins.....I actually met a guy today from the app who I've known a week or so.....I decided to just go with it. Well we're both happy. To have a cuddle and a kiss with a guy after 25 yrs was beyond amazing. I'm on a natural high, I'm buzzing and I'm happy.....will not go into anymore details Apart from there is no pressure on either side. If we meet again, think we will, we will explore together. His 51 and not out yet. I don't mind as long as it works for both of us...... So in 10 months my journey is complete......I will continue to post and try and help others. Leaving my wife was the right decision....I'm so happy...just buzzing, I feel this warmth I don't recall feeling ever.....
Apps can work. There is just a lot of stuff that you have to be careful about. But, I met a guy over a year ago, we hooked up, then went rock climbing and then went camping for several long weekends. He and my wife and I have been out to dinner a number of times. We chat almost daily. I just met a guy last week. We have been together 4 times since then. Last time was to go fat tire snow biking. He spent the night at my cabin. It's all about how you use them and keep expectations low.
So happy for you! Really glad you had the night that you needed and were able to connect with other people. Keep following your gut Its definitely less common in apps, but I have met 4 married couples who have met through apps. One of them is divorced now and the other three are above the 7 year mark now.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It could happen to anyone, but at least you weren't fooled into sending any money. Do you know how many people innocently think they're helping someone and get into trouble? I'm glad you had your wits with you.
I can imagine being sucked in myself. My heart goes out to you. We just have to be strong and weed put the dross, to out it bluntly. It happens to straight people too, but I think one is quite vulnerable when not a seasoned gay person!
Yeah it freaked me out for 24 hrs. I felt stupid as I fell in the trap. He even tried calling me for a couple days but luckily he now has given up. I've had a positive experience since...... But I feel a bit weird, I was faithful to my wife for 20 yrs. Now I'm hooking up with two guys in a week. I just want to test the water before I settle down with someone. But I feel a bit guilty when I shouldn't.....think I need to discuss vthis with my counsellor in January....
There is SOOO much stigma surrounding hooking up. It makes sense that guilt is felt when we are told that only "those people" hook up. Specially if your idenity was tied to your monogamy with your wife. Defnitely talk about it with your counselor. The stigma can be unlearn if you so wish or at least give yourself permission enough to finally experiment with your sexuality. But you are right, nothing wrong with that you are doing and it doesn't say anything about who you are as a person. You are still the same guy you were before those hook ups
Thanks Smurf, hopefully in time I will feel less guilty. I will talk in January with my counsellor. Being faithful 20 yrs plays a part in this. I'm going on MY second hook up tonight. If it goes well I'm going to explore just with the two guys from my hookups. The previous one wants to meet again. Just having two regular guys seems ok to me. I'm not being a slut? Just need the company and experience, find out what I like. I only now fully understand bottoms and tops!! I'm being careful too, following the advice I have been given.... Thank you Jon
Slut literally just means "that person has had more sex than I'm comfortable with" To some people you would be considered slutty and to some you will be considered vanilla. The thing to learn is to not live our lives based on what other people will think of us. Are you harming anyone? Does it make you happy? Does it add to your life? Then go forth and conquer my friend. Just like being gay, pay no mind to those who will try to stop you from living your life simply because they don't agree. I personally do enjoy one or two intimate friends with benefits more than a lot of one-night stands, but the only reason I know that is because I experimented a lot and I figured out what works for me. Some people only like one-night stands and that works for them. As long as its adding to your life and happiness that is what matters.
Hello Back from my hookup, yes a success.....will keep to the two guys, I'm happy and I'm exploring my sexuality, it's fun and I'm being careful. After 20 marriage I feel liberated......I see them on a casual basis, separately and everyone is happy ...thanks for your support Smurf....At 43 I'm finally out and proud
