For the majority of my life I have always been in relationships with men but thought I was bisexual. I have been with my husband for 15 years and just recently accepted myself and came out to him. My whole life I have always felt like something was missing or I was broken until a few years ago when I met a woman that made the lightbulb go off. I suppressed all of the feelings that I was having and pushed them deep down because being a lesbian couldn’t be why I have felt this way my entire life until two months ago when I couldn’t take it anymore and finally sat down to really think about everything...why my husband and I have had issues the majority of our marriage in the intimacy Dept and I finally admitted it to myself that I am indeed a lesbian. My issue now is my husband hates my guts and says the meanest things to me “so I can hurt like he does” I feel so alone because I have no one that can relate to my situation and I need an outlet! We plan on filing for divorce after the holidays to hopefully save our children from hating the holiday season. We are currently separated but living under the same roof and I’m about to lose my mind.
Well you came to the right place, we all have had similar experiences. Your husband is just hurt. Does your family know your lesbian?
My parents know and a large portion of my closest friends. They are all very supportive and some very confused!
@Nikki818 I do agree with @Nic2552 your husband is hurt, probably never suspected your sexuality. That being said doesn’t give him the right to say hurtful things to you. I haven’t told my husband yet and this one of the reasons I’m afraid to. Again I’m sorry for you are going through, hopefully you will come out of this a stronger person .
Hey @Nikki818, Hang in there. It will get better. You’ve come to the right place. There are many similar stories here and great advice about how to navigate things. One thought I had was whether you thought your husband would benefit from a support forum of his own. The Straight Spouse Network might help him navigate this on his side. You could take a look at it and see if it would be worth it to tell him about it. Stick around. You’ll start to feel better soon. And, welcome to EC!
He is in a support group through the straight spouse network, I have been so worried about him and how he’s doing that I didn’t think about myself... so now I’m here and I will stick around.
Hi, I don't have time to write too much right now, but just wanted to say I'm also a lesbian in my thirties who's married with kids. Let me know if you want to chat sometime!
I’m new and relate to this post SO much. I fell in love with my best friend a little over a year ago. I’m married, early 40’s and have two kids. My marriage has been deteriorating for the last few years and I live in a very isolated area with very few friends. Unlike you Nikki, I haven’t spoke with my husband about this yet as I needed some time to sorry everything out. I never saw myself faking I love with a woman and for a while thought I was bisexual but now I think I’m more on the lesbian side.
Hey welcome to EC. As the others have already said, take a deep breath it will get better. EC is a fantastic place with great people at all different stages of their journeys. It sounds as though you could use a place to vent and get some support right now.
