Hi, I get extreme anxiety when thinking about coming out to my friends and family. I have known I’m bisexual for about a year and I am still coming to terms with it. I want to tell my friends and family and I want to be openly able to speak about it, but something always stops me and that’s fear. The fear of what people might think, say or do. I was planning on coming out to my friend once but as soon as I got face to face with her I broke down and had a panic attack; I didn’t want to be hated. I know it sounds silly expecting everyone I tell to have a negative reaction but I don’t know how to deal with this, any advice?
I know what you mean about the anxiety. I'm not out but when I do get anxiety about even thinking about it. My advise would be do it in your time. In a place you are comfortable. It's normal to picture worse case scenario and it makes sense but it's not sill to think this. Come out when you feel like you are safe. The hardest isn't talking about so much as pushing sounds out of your mouth. There are times I have said things but when it came to talking about me, I froze. You will do what is right for you in your own time. When you feel safe, comfortable and when you are doing it to make yourself happier.
Mads785.....Hello and a very big welcome to empty closets! One of the best ways to handle a coming out that you are nervous/fearful about or may not go well is to write a letter. Writing a letter lets you be sure that you are saying things in the right way. It lets you collect and organize your thoughts without the pressure and nervousness of a face-to-face confrontation. It also lets the recipient of the letter have some time to collect their thoughts instead of the emotional outburst that happens too often. You don't have to be present when the letter is read...and that can be a very big plus! It's the "mountain climb" that is the coming out experience. Something that we have to fearfully force our way through...something that a straight person will never really understand. Telling a person who knows you so well...especially parents...that you are not who you appear to be. Been there, sobbed and cried through every second of it...waterfall tears. At that time I didn't think about sending a text, email or a letter to prepare the ground. HOWEVER...you can do that! There are some great sample letters here on empty closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking the time to think about it and to write one will help you be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! Check them out...they could be a real comfort! COMING OUT LETTERS: Go to the Login page, but do not login. At the top, you will see some links. Click on "Resources". That will bring up a page with a box on the upper left. In that box, you will see a link to "Coming out letters". Click that and you are there! I wish you much good luck...you can and will make it! .....David
Coming out is one of the best, most amazing, terffiyig, scarying things I’ve ever done. I understand the anxiety attacks, and there are so many ways to come out. Like mentioned above, letters work great. You also can pick just one person you feel most comfortable with and talk with them. Having that one person know will help take so much pressure off. Good luck and don’t rush there is not right or wrong way here. Do it your way and in your time
It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious. There's no pressure to come out before you're ready, so don't feel forced to come out.
