Close friend died, had a crush on him. How do I get over this?

I'm sad to hear of your loss and 16 is very young....is there no support/bereavement support at school or counselor service. EC is great but you may need some face to face support.....
It's difficult to move on from many situations in life but death is particularly difficult so please seek support..

 

Here in the UK anyone can tap into national bereavement support by phoning a number, I've referred people in my working life, is there such a thing where you are? Sorry I should have looked what country you live....

 

It's definitely hard to lose someone like that at a young age and it's pretty difficult. If you need some space for yourself, you're allowed to have that. Whatever you're feeling is completely valid, and from the sounds of it, you miss him very dearly. It shows that you really cared for that guy and that shouldn't have to feel like you're just "moving on".
Try your best to cope with what you're feeling and open up to someone about it. Grieving is a long process and it can be different for everyone, and there is some truth to that. The best advice I can give you is to go at your own pace, and no one should have to tell you what you're suppose to feel other than just being there for you. You can try to honor his memory in your own way if it helps you process your grieving.

 

Hey, I can relate. At 19(last year), I lost a crush from hemorrhage. At first, I assumed she'd wake up in a few days after her surgery. Because of her surgery, I thought maybe she wouldn't wake up as the same person I knew. A month later, I got a text from her number saying she's gone.

She was a friend of mine. She was a complicated person that she'd act like she hated me, then like me the next day. Sometimes I'd feel some kind of connection between us. Or it maybe it was my wishful thinking. I'd never know!

For the first week since her death, I cried everyday. When I stopped doing that, I assumed I was over her and the situation. I was wrong. She'd constantly pop up in my head, and incessantly wonder what was the thing between us, and whether there was something at all. I called LGBT youth help line and got some consolation there. Whatever I did to ease my pain was never enough. I had to keep writing or telling how I felt somewhere. I felt very lonely because I felt even the people who know my story didn't understand completly either. I kept asking myself "What if...." and imagined the dates we could've gone, and how she would smell if I were to be in her arms. If she did like me, that is.

If there's one thing I learned from my experience, is that when you like someone, you have to go for it. AT LEAST make your feelings known to the person.

Right now, I'm mostly over the situation since it's been 1.5 years and I've found another person to crush on. I think I have a chance with her by 90% so I'm looking forward to that. There's still a part of me that makes me keep comparing this new girl to her, but I try not to let the memory of her hurt me now. I have considered vising her grave, but at this time, vising her would bring up bad memories.

For me, it took long to let her go because of the way I lost her. If I had been rejected in person, I'd have less regrets because I'd know for sure that she doesn't like me. It seems the easiest way to rise above it would be finding new love, although old memories would surface occassionally.

Visit his grave, and write letters to him. Tell your story to someone who would geuinely care. It may not put an end to your emotions but it could make you feel less alone. Don't force yourself to get over him because you won't unless you feel like you did. Cherish the memories of him, eat ice cream, do things you enjoy, and let time pass. Let yourself feel the emotions you have because if you keep holding it back, it backfires.

Loss of her was a very meaningful experience for me, although devastating. Feel free to write on my wall if you want to talk. I hope you get this through well.

 

Sorry for your loss. The truth is if someone means a lot to you, you'll never be 100% over it. With time you'll pick yourself up and resume living, but a part of you will always miss them.

Obviously the school councillor isn't doing a good job. Are there other councillors there that you could go to, or just the one? Do your parents have work insurance that would cover some sort councilling (even if you aren't out to them, they don't need to know you had a crush on him).

Even though my mom didn't die in the hospice, awhile after she died the hospice phoned and talked about the different services they provide for people that have recently lost someone. Maybe hospices there would offer similar services?

If you and him had mutual friends, they'd be perfect to talk to as they've almost gone through the exact thing you have. One thing I found scary is how many people I know could relate to me because they have also lost a parent (and many more people who have lost a grandparent). Just talking to people who can relate can be comforting. Never underrate how beneficial it is to talk about how you feel about anything.

Somethings that can be hit or miss helping you feel better:
*(If it hasn't already happened) going to the funeral might help give you a sense of closure.
*Sometimes I flip through old pictures. It helps trigger old memories. The older pictures remind me that I only saw a part of her life, she did many things and lived a relatively crazy and full life.
*I know its probably weird, especially since my mom isn't technically buried yet, but if I'm having a bad day I'll drive out to where she's going to be buried. It's a 20 minute drive out of town (the drive itself can be therapeutic) and it gives me a sense of closure and "connectedness"