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What is your bedroom situation (hetero married lesbian and gay)?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Fuzzy, Nov 25, 2018.

  1. Maldoone

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    Jon your post eclipsed mine, I think. I' m alone tomorrow for a while. I'd like to read it again and have a think about what to say. I'm a little breathless. K
     
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  2. Lone Wolfe

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    -> her physical relationship with her boyfriend. But if they want to fuck all day and night I don't care,

    Just me butting in here with a thought - maybe her new boyfriend is really insecure about his position, and sex is all he has to offer your ex. That should get old pretty soon when she figures out there's no depth to him.
     
  3. Rade

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    Yeah I get a feeling she is starting to wake up. I'm happy for her but know she can do better for herself. I know I shouldn't care but 20 yrs was a long time together.
    I've realized and am letting go of alot of emotional stuff. Not letting things bother me. Say no to her. She wanted me to put the Xmas tree up with the kids. now this means alot to me but this year is too soon. Alot of the decorations mean stuff to me and memories. She took my house key off me in an argument. So to me that was the final straw. She said I could have it back when I behave! Yeah I said a couple of mean things but she can keep the key, I don't plan setting foot in that house again unless my kids are sick. I said you are a family unit now with your boyfriend, so do the tree together. I'm balancing myself out and doing the tree will put me in a bad place, I know it sounds stupid......
    I might get offered over Christmas morning but again I don't need to be a part of that. I'm having my kids the day after Christmas, in the UK it's called boxing day so will have Christmas then. We're spending it at my mum's house. My apartment there is no Christmas apart from the few cards I get. I'm not ready to embrace it this year. But I am in an ok place, mentally and that's more important.....
     
  4. Lone Wolfe

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    -> I might get offered over Christmas morning but again I don't need to be a part of that. I'm having my kids the day after Christmas, in the UK it's called boxing day so will have Christmas then. We're spending it at my mum's house. My apartment there is no Christmas apart from the few cards I get.
    I'm not ready to embrace it this year. But I am in an ok place, mentally and that's more important.....

    This is how straight couples handle it as well. Two separate celebrations at different family's homes. Nothing strange about that.
     
    #44 Lone Wolfe, Dec 5, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2018
  5. Highlander2

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    And another one here. It's five years since I separated from my, now ex-wife. It was traumatic for both of us, as you've described the waves kept coming faster and with less time between them, until it eventually became overwhelming. I've posted my story - and it's long, so sorry if time is important to you when you start reading it!

    But in essence, I left a 19 year marriage with children, to start another life as a single gay man. There's been a lot of ups and downs and difficult times, and tears. But also I've discovered who I am, what I am, and I am now at a point in my life where I've been in a relationship with the most amazing, loyal, loving, funny man for about 2 years, and I am proposing to him next week. He's everything that everyone else wasn't and I am looking forward to a future with him that I could only have dreamed about five or six years ago.

    I've had dark times. Times where I really didn't think I'd make it. Where my mental health suffered and where I really struggled with things that caused disproportionate anxiety. But I had good friends, strong friendships, a focus on the fact I was doing the right thing for me first off, and then by doing that I'd be better able to give my all to my kids and still be able to care about my ex-wife.

    The early months, and even years, are difficult. We're discovering a lot about ourselves that is new, how we figure out what that newness looks like and how we use it when we engage with others, all at the same time as managing grief and confusion from others. It's a tough thing to do. But EC helped me massively. Having a place to come and express my thoughts, coherently, and taking away the advice and words of others who've been through similar, helped me tread my own path - because we'll each tread a different one, but pass similar signposts and sights.

    Keep talking and learn from what you hear and what you reflect on. Keep your principles and values close and use them to help guide your actions, and always take care of yourself first.


    H x
     
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  6. TrevinMichael

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    I hope life is good for all on the thread. Sending much love and joy and hope we all find our happiness somehow.